Fallen Angel
by nekocandy4life
Summary: We were both innocent beings in the beginning. Just minding out business and living everyday like always. He warned me what would happen, gave me the choice to retreat and turn away like the others. When I broke, I became enslaved to anger and the bitter coldness.A hollowed shell that decided that he would rather use other than be used by him and begun to push back. YxO no judge
1. selfish desire

**Urg I should REALLY stop making new stories…**

***sigh* who am I lying to?**

**Sometimes I curse my brains for being so hyper-imaginative -_-**

**Oh well TT^TT ~**

* * *

We were both innocent beings in the beginning. Just minding out business and living everyday like always.

One broken

The other built of love

Wanting to comfort and share that love with the broken.

It wasn't until we, I, fell that I realized how corrupted we humans really are; and what led to this madness?

Selfish desire

Like I said, I didn't realize this until after I chose to fall and play the devil's game. Turn the table on him for once.

He warned me what would happen, gave me the choice to retreat and turn away like the others. But I wanted to please him…at first…then it all turned much darker than that. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. Cause him to suffer like I did until, like me, he snapped, unable to go back to the road of sanity.

I wanted that so badly that later on I allowed myself to be blinded by my desire. My need to be perfect in order to be accepted in his eyes.

It was fine, worth it actually, while it lasted.

When I broke, I became enslaved to anger and the bitter coldness.

A hollowed shell that decided that he would rather use other than be used by him and begun to push back. That was the time I saw no future to reach out to, just the past to cling to who made me who I am.

Who I was began fading.

That shred of a person I thought I left behind still stares at me in the mirror some mornings.

Questioning me, asking "Who are you?"

Poor soul

He doesn't get he is already gone for evermore.

I don't even know who I am now as I observe the welts on my body like I do every week, the discolored bruises and marks panting my neck down to my hips were the color continues to turn darker.

Who are you?

Why do you continue to put up with this, with him?

Then it occurred to me.

I DIDN'T have to put up with this, with him. I didn't have to stand and take his crap like I have for the past ten years. I'm not even sure I can come to love him like I use to.

So why continue to put up with this?

Didn't you say once you hurt him, you'll leave him?

He's pretty battered up too but not broken, not like me, so the way to truly hurt him them IS to leave him.

I got dressed, packed my things, and walked out on everything.

My apartment, my past self, my Takano san...

I walked out of the hell I once called my dream and didn't chance to look back in case the nightmares decided to follow me.

Goodbye would be too kind to say to the things that ripped your wings off so I say nothing and head to the train station and buy a ticket to anywhere.

Anywhere but here.

* * *

**Yeah…you all already know how dark I like stories to be so I'm not even going to explain:p**

**But I will let you guys on a little (OK BIG) secret~**

**This is another Yukina X Onodera fanfic.**

**I wasn't going to do another one besides the pick up the pieces sequel but I had so much fun writing pick up the pieces that I want to make another one.**

**WE NEED MORE KOU X RITSU!**

**So there.**

**Hope you enjoy this one and if you have any ideas please be informal and let me know:D**


	2. come with me

**Urg so my history teacher told me i have to start practicing my print because it's mandatory for IB -_- **

**I am sooo screwed people.**

**cursive is all i know sadly, my print looks like toddler writing.**

**anyways ch.2 here we go but first names!**

**DeathNoteLover235~ As always thank you for reviewing and brightening my day with your funny awesome words! XD and now you will know where our main character will end up! LOVE KOU X RITSU! LOVE THEM I SAY XD**

**fuzzysmokes~ Lol thanks and really? when i'm sad i take it all out on characters in my stories lolXD**

**Misagi~ Ah~ i am glad i am not alone in this battle to make more YxO fanfics lol:Dyes they are most definitely cute! LOVE THEM~!  
**

**RENAlmochi~ hoped i spelled that right...anyways thanks for reviewing. I am glad you're liking this so far and hope you continueXD *internet cookie* here!  
**

**now enjoy~**

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Every part of me screamed in protest with every movement I made. The train's movements didn't help either in fact; if possible, it made the pain much worse. My chest felt like something was loose inside, stabbing my insides and making it hard to breath.

I was tempted to scream but held my voice in.

No use attracting attention.

Just as those thoughts came and went, some fella surrounded by…sparkles? (are they sparkles?) my eyes must be playing me finally.

He came by looking around the place like a lost puppy searching for his master. Almost all the females on the train gawked at the man, drooling for him to sit next to them. one girl even shoved her own husband off his seat for the sparkly man.

Desperate anyone?

It would have been funny, laughable even, if I still had a soul to laugh at the look of disappointment on the woman's face when she went ignored.

Instead I turned away despite the pain jolting my muscles to my bones. I was too focus on looking out the window and trying not to have a breakdown that I didn't notice the sparkly man in front of me until I felt him tap my shoulder which made more pain shoot through me.

"Is anyone sitting here?" he gestured to the empty seat in front of me.

"No." I replied flatly wanting him to the idea I was intimidating and he'll go away but he didn't. he did jump back through and stared at me with wide eyes. "Are you ok?"

Blinking at the tone in his voice, worried, I cursed realizing why he asked that.

My neck.

I forgot I took my scarf off when I sat, giving him and possible everyone the show of welts and fingerprints on my clammy skin.

"I'm sorry." He says taking the seat beside me when I looked away recovering my neck quickly with my scarf.

I can feel his eyes burning into me, searching for the ugly injuries covering my body. I became uncomfortable. It was not the first time someone stared at me but his gaze wasn't like the others. It held something I just couldn't decipher which unease me further.

It was as if the man was invading my territory without even trying to or noticing he was. I played the devil's game long enough to know this was not good. This could lead me back to what I just finally ran from. Yet I couldn't tell him to bug off.

For some weird reason I WANTED him to stare at me.

To see the hell I went through and manage to outrun.

I wanted him to see me in all my glorious battle scars.

Then I was scared.

Of what?

I had no idea that time; I just knew I was scared.

"Hey" his voice flowed out smoothly, worriedly, as if he was talking to a cornered animal. Then again maybe I am an animal. I am starting to feel cornered. "Where are you heading?"

He tries conversing with me.

"Don't know." my voice remains flat, icy even.

"Eh? How can you not know? Are you going to a family's house or a friend maybe?"

"No." now I began to glare. "I just wanted to leave." And never go back, I kept that part unsaid.

Before he could open his big mouth once more, the train jerked roughly causing me to fall which led to hearing something inside me crack due to the sudden movement.

"Y-you ok?!" I yelped out in pain when the guy helped me up. "Hold on, I'll get the conductor to send a doctor."

Damn, doctors?

Doctors mean questions and that is a hassle to lie through.

I stop him before he can leave and croak "I'm fine…no doctors."

He gives me a funny look but shakes his head at me. "You need a doctor to check you. Who knows if something's broken."

I shake my head refusing "I…can't. to-too many questions…"

He seems to have caught on for he sits back down but then surprises me with how stubborn he is.  
"You need a doctor. I'm going to Kyoto to live with my brother, come with me." He raises his hand and cuts my protest off "You have nowhere to go and it's clear you are beyond hurt. Me and my brother can help unless, you rather I get you a doctor now?"

He got me there…

"W-…" no, not why "I won't be able to repay you."

"Don't worry about it. I'm not asking to be repaid."

"Wha…" my mouth hung open like a fish out of water then clamped shut when he smiled at me.

Now I don't quit know if it was because of the pain threatening to make me pass out, or perhaps it was his genuine kindness, his aura that allowed me to want to believe him and take me to Kyoto.

Or maybe…it was the fear of going back home, back to 'him' that drove me to play a trump card and take the man before me offer.

"Since you're coming with me, my name's Yukina Kou. Nice to meet you…?"

Panting I said "Onodera." He has no right to know my first name.

"Onodera…?"

"Just Onodera."

* * *

**A little defensive anyone?**

**lol what will happen now?!**

***le gasp* **

**Review~**

**til next time;3**


	3. I followered my heart to a broken angel

**Guess what peps!**

**Imma die tomorrow!**

**To tell long story short, me and a friend was working on a project for biology and she didn't want me to put Kermit the frog on our power point but I did it anyways:3**

**Now she said she's coming after me._.**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

To tell the truth, I don't know what made me sit by him. I just knew I had to. A voice from deep in my core being told me "Sit by him" when I got on the train.

I didn't know then that the voice was my heart at the time. I just knew I felt a connection with a complete stranger. This man who looked like an angel soldier coming back from a war with the devil.

As that thought left, I had no clue how right on the dot I was.

His voice was cold but musical never-the-less to me.

Those majestic doe green eyes pierced into me icily, daring me to mess with him then see what would happen.

But…those eyes also screamed out eternal pain, showing me and only me the hell he's lived through and is running from.

Anyone far away would have mistaken those raw blackish welts around his neck for hickeys that got out of hand but I knew better.

They were handprints from a person, male, bigger than him.

Seeing those injuries and the way the broken creature winced whenever moved even just a bit, sparked an unknown anger within me.

I found myself wanting to find the person responsible and beat the shit out of the culprit. Make him atone.

That anger, however, diminished and bloomed into a protective worry when the guy fell. I heard a crack like noise resonate from inside him and his yelp of pure pain when I helped him up.

That moment I desired to bring him home with me. I had to protect him from whatever did this to him, I just had to, wanted to, needed to. I didn't give a damn on why I felt the way I did about a total stranger. My heart was louder and screaming to reach out to this ethereal beauty.

What could I do but listen to my heart?

"Niisan!" I yelled coming in the place my brother works at.

"Your brother works in a library?" the raspy voice asked as the owner clenched his chest trying to calm his breathing.

I helped him to a chair not far from the door while searching for my brother desperately. "He owns this library actually."

"Oh." Enthralled gem eyes stared around in wonder like a child on Christmas day. It sort of made me worry and wonder if he ever seen a library before. "Niisan!"

"What?!" a familiar voice snapped "It is rude to yell in a library you know." he came out from an aisle with his long blondish brown hair (lighter than mine) tied in a ponytail.

"You forgot it's closed today Niisan" I countered then cut him off before he could argue with me "I need you to call Nowaki san." I held the petit man's shoulders "He's hurt and I think it's a broken bone."

Taking the beauty in, Niisan nods and goes to the phone. When finished he comes back "Hold on kid, our friend is on his way right now. My name's Fujiwara Yukina by the way."

He takes a step back at the glare tossed to him "Onodera" the eyes drift to the ground "And…thank you."

In less than four minutes Nowaki arrives, equipment in hand.

My brother and I gasp at all the damage on Onodera's body when Nowaki instructs him to remove his shirt. Bruises all the way to angry cuts paints pale white flesh.

Sensing that his patient was uncomfortable by us staring, Nowaki sent us out the room he was inspecting Onodera in.

"So that's what he meant by 'too many questions'." He didn't want to be asked about those. Can't blame him, I have a lot of questions because of that.

"Kou" I looked over at my brother. He was staring at the doors with, like me, anger in his reddish hazel eyes. "Who did that to him, do you know?"

Me and my brother are very kind people and can't stand seeing people abused or hurt in any ways. It makes us made even thinking about it really.

I shook my head honestly "Just met him on the train and felt I had, have to protect him."

Nodding to this, Niisan sighs "Well it's good you brought him here then. He looks like the type who needs protection."

"Yeah about that…could he maybe…"

"Of course he can stay with us. Where else do you expect an injured creature to go?"

Ri-ight

"Excuse my intrusion."

"Huh?"

Nowaki stood removing his gloves and throwing them away "I would ask if you knew anything about his injuries but I'm betting that's a no."

Blushing for some reason I shake my head no and change subjects a bit.

"What's wrong with him?"

Nowaki's face turned solemn as he sighed looking down. "Lots but the main one right now was his breast plate. His breast plate was fractured, on the verge of breaking and stabbing his heart which would have killed him agonizingly slow. Luckily I manage to put it back in place and bandage him up so he should heal in a month or so."

Thank god!

"What about the other injuries?"

Apprehension drifted off me as I began imagining many ways how he got in this state and it continued as Nowaki shook his head.

"He wouldn't tell me, just said he's very clumsy that's all."

How could he lie uncaringly?

Doesn't he want the man that beat him behind bars?

Locked away.

Where he wouldn't hurt him anymore.

Why?

"Do you know where he will stay? He can't be out, he has to rest."

To this, my brother stepped up "He'll be staying at my place with my brother and I."

"Good."

"**I promise to repay you for troubling you."**

We turned at the sudden voice to find Onodera leaning against the head of the door. His bangs covering his face. "Sorry for troubling you, I'll repay you however I can."

"No that's not necessary" I began "We didn't ask you to repay us."

"It's only fair and it doesn't feel right to not repay people."

I was going to protest again until my brother cut me off.

"Ok then. Once your better you can help out in the library. How does that sound?"

"Niisan!" I pulled him out of earshot "What are you doing?! He doesn't have to repay us!"

"But he wants to and just think, with his help in the library I'll be able to see and spend time with my sweet sweetie cuddle bug when he gets here from Tokyo!" smiling, he goes off to his own world.

I was tempted to smack him for wanting to use Onodera just to see his boyfriend but Onodera did seem determined to repay us back. Plus maybe this will give him a reason to stay than traveling everywhere because he has no place to go.

It will give me time to befriend him and maybe help him open up to me about his injuries.

Hold on

What

Am

I

Thinking?

I know I'm kind and I like helping people but am I overdoing it right now?

My clenched the more I thought about my feelings of connection with Onodera. It is new to me so I don't understand it. What is this sensation in my chest?

"Remember Onodera san" I hear Nowaki talking to the brunet "Rub this cream on your injuries every day before and after you wake up and go to sleep, got it."

"Hai."

"If you need getting the cuts in the back, ask Kou or Fuji for help or else those nasty cuts will never get better."

"Hai." A skeptical look crossed Onodera's face but it was ignored by Nowaki because he's too nice to get mad back at people.

"Call me if something happens or if you feel the bone pop out of place again ok."

A nod.

Satisfied with that, Nowaki waves and leaves. Finally out of his fantasy, Niisan waltzes over to Onodera and hooks his arm in his thin one.

"Come on, let's show you the house and you room~"

I watched them go, my heart constricting as Onodera limped painfully every step. I wonder if I'll be able to befriend him enough to open up to me.

He seems as if his real scars are more on the inside of his mind.

* * *

**What will happen now?  
**

**Any guesses?**

**Pardon my suckiness in this chapter (My mind is being fried by homework lol) **

**Tell me what you think **

**til next time~**


	4. Talk sweet angel

_**Ch. 4~**_

_**Enjoy our lovely Yukina again peps lol~**_

* * *

"_You brought a star~  
in the sky tonight~"_

What is that? I was walking though the halls of my brothers house when singing bombarded my ears.

"_We don't own our heavens now~_

_ We only own our hell."_

I followed the majestic voice to the guest room where Onodera is staying. I pressed my ear to the cold oak door listening to parts of the words to this sad song.

"_All my life I've been so lonely~ _

_ All in the name of staying holy~"_

I wonder what song he's singing.

It sounds so heart wrenching, like someone killed him on the inside and stripped him of his innocence.

It's been a week since I brought him here and we still don't get to talk much since he keeps to himself and rarely leaves the guest room regardless of Fuji and mine coaxing.

This is the first time hearing him sing though.

I had no clue he had such a breath taking voice!

Unlike me, my voice would kill everyone if I were to sing. Sad but true.

Wow…Onodera's voice isn't even humanly beautiful if that makes sense. It's too beautiful, angelic even. "EK!" I froze on my spot JUST realizing what I've done.

I walked inside the room…on Onodera…..shirtless.

"S-sorry!" we were both shell shocked tomato red.

On any other day with someone else I would have shrugged and laughed this embarrassing emotion away but with Onodera I couldn't. My heart thumps seeing him every time.

It's so weird but a good weird I guess.

And I want to get to know him. Everything about him.

His first name

Likes/dislikes

Why he left Tokyo and…in that condition.

"Uh…."

_Da-dump!_

"Could you leave for a sec…" those words felt like bullet shooting me in the gut but then I noticed the cream Nowaki instructed Onodera to use in said brunet's hand.

He must have been trying to spread some on his back.

"You want some help with that?" I gestured to the tube in his hand when I look crossed his face. It left after a second though.

When I got no response, I tentatively took the tube from him and sat him down with his back facing me. Squeezing a generous amount of the medicine on my fingers, I grimace slightly eyeing the still fresh looking wounds. Most of the bruising was going away but the welts and scars were just beginning to scab over.

The broken body flinches once my fingertip makes contact with battered flesh but the owner says nothing to stop me.

I glide my medicine creamed fingers lightly over the wounds cautious of accidentally hurting him. Wanting to have a conversation and hopefully learn something about him I ask casually "What was that song you were singing? It sounded beautiful."

Too cheesy?

Tensing from the sudden question I add "You don't have to answer that if it makes you uncomfortable" to calm him a bit.

"It's fine" he shakes his head of auburn hair, brown lock sway gracefully "It's just a song I wrote in college."

Ah, he's not clamping shut!

Quick Kou, be careful what you ask next!

"It sounds important to you."

Pink lips go into a thin line, settling into a scowl.

Oh no. Kou you idiot, you blew it.

"It is." His small body radiates anger but those dull jade eyes show different.

They show fear.

"As much as I hate it, it is important to me."

A solemn silence overcomes the room and despite my urge to break it I decided against it and continued to focus on rubbing Onodera's back with the medicine.

So many thoughts are going through my mind, so many questions popping all at once, but I can't begin to ask them.

Where would I start?

"All done!" I give my best smile, heading to the door. I was almost gone when I head a very soft "Thank you…Yukina."

Yeah I know those words were only out of politeness but my heart fluttered out my chest hearing them. Smiling even brighter than the first, I say back "No problem!" then continued on my way.

I think I know how to get Onodera to open up, even if a bit.

He's so jaded and rough on the outside but somehow I know he's gentle and soft by nature. He only needs a little nudge and someone to understand to get out of that safety shell of his.

I would love to be that someone (though I still don't understand why myself) but I don't have the heart to push someone to talk about their personal lives.

I do, however, know someone who does.

Let's see…it's 11:00am.

I go to my older brother's library knowing the one I'm looking for is there harassing said brother.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE ANY COPY OF '_TILT_'?!"

Just as I predicted.

She's here beating my brother to a pulp because he doesn't have the new book she's been wanting since last month from that author she's currently obsessed with.

"Cel stop! I told you, the new arrivals haven't arrived—ow!"

"SHUT UP!" her childish face goes beyond dark and scary as chocolate crazy wavy hair covers different colored eyes as they glared.

"You're a librarian" she began sweetly, voice going higher as continued talking "Who owns this joint with, and I quote, "ALL the books anyone will look for" and what I'm looking for is my Ellen Hopkins book _tilt_. I want to know what happens later in the series! I MUST KNOW ABOUT SHANE AND ALEX DAMMIT!"

"No don't hurt me Cel!" too late.

The small framed child looking woman threw my brother across his own desk and through the concrete wall. Ouch. Wonder how much that would cost to fix the wall.

Deeming the demoning girl approachable enough, I clear my throat succeeding in getting her attention. "Cel san."

"Oh Kou chan!" in a second she collected herself, sitting on my brother's desk one leg over the other, hands folded and smiling as if she was never psycho before.

"How can I help you?" that smile always make me uneasy.

It's like the devil smile.

"Well you see, there's this guy I brought back—"

"You mean the one with the broken ribs?"

"Gah! How did you know?"

Smiling wider "I have my ways young Yukina." Shivers go up my spine.

Gulping as if life depended on it, I continue "He doesn't seem to want to leave (not that I want him to) but he keeps to himself and he seems like he could really use a friend to relate to you know."

"So you want me to be his therapist?"

"Well yeah."

Time tick by making me squirm and think the worse until Cel leaps from the desk and skips out with a "Ok Kou chan!"

I sigh relieved.

"Thank god." Maybe now he'll get help. Hopefully.

"K—ou…" crap!

I forgot my brother who was still in the wall.

I helped him out and wrapped his head in bandages from the first aid kit under the desk.

"What did you ask her?" blood is wiped from his face.

"I asked her to talk to Onodera and see if she can get him to socialize a little you know."

I swear on my grandmother's grave I didn't even have the chance to see my brother's hand when it grabbed the front of my collar.

"What have you done?!"

Wha—

"She's gonna kill the poor guy! You know she can't stand jaded people with the slightest bit of attitude towards her!"

Dread dawned on me.

My god he's right…

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Cel I was just kidding! Come back!"

I yelled running around the village like I was high or something.

"Cal!" she was nowhere to be found. In defeat I walked back home praying Cel hasn't called Onodera or anything.

Tentatively I go inside.

"Onodera?" I call out lightly only to be replied with silence.

Then…a scream.

My blood stopped cold as I made a mad dash for the source of the scream. It came from my brother's piano room.

Bursting through the door my blood freezes over as I see Cel…hugging Onodera?

A jealous emotion sneaks up on me but I don't know why.

I gape dumbly at them but went ignored as the two others break apart. Cel smiles and also—Onodera!

It's hardly noticeable but it's the first time I've seen him smile since he got here.

Even his smile is angelic. Like the Mona Lisa.

Tuning in on the conversation, Cel is squealing in delight with a book to her chest.

"You know how long I've been looking for this! God! This is awesome, I now claim you my little brother!"

A blush flares in those pale cheeks giving it color as Onodera turns away only to lock eyes with mine.

I chuckle as that blush intensifies.

Cel notices me as well and to my dismay/fascination, she begins conversing with Onodera in English. I'm still in college and suck at English so I'm able to make out a few words.

"_Why…"_

"_Sick…lover…fought…tired…left…here."_

That just confuses me more than before as I watch Cel stare at me with a well hidden look of anger. Her small face gives nothing away but her eyes say "My god." As she hold her purple colored eye.

Half of me was relieved because Onodera was actually conversing with someone and smiled! They talked for hours (in English) but that hidden look of sadness and hate never left Cel's eyes.

When she was getting ready to depart I thanked her.

"I'm glad you got him talking. Maybe now he'll be more open ne?"

Her eyes bore into mine, shocking me at what she said next.

"Don't bother Kou chan." It was like she was reading my thoughts "He's broken beyond repair."

"What do you mean Cel?"

Turning away, Cel waves "Confidential." While walking down the road to her home.

Her words echoed around in my head.

_He's broken beyond repair._

What does she mean by that?

Exactly what happened to you Onodera?

* * *

_**Who here is a Cel fan?**_

_**If you remember her from my other stories give yourself a giant fluffy panda!**_

_**If not, then sit back and enjoy her character.**_

_**:3**_

_**til next time:D**_


	5. poison for an angel

**Wow I have SOOOO much inspiration flowing through me with this story!**

**I have the next chapter written down (just have to type it...later) SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~**

**I DID NOT forget about your names, i'm just tired right now (had a long day) so i PROMISE next chapter all your names will be included in here ok!**

**Also i got a new notebook which means~~~ NEW STORIES!**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

I remember it was a peaceful day.

The sun was easing down giving way to evening just over the horizon, painting the sky such a breath taking pink. Not a cloud in the sky to ruin the ethereal essence as slight florescence light shined over the building of my school peeking through the open window high above the second storage into a certain room.

A library.

Inside we sat me and the guy I loved with my everything. I remembered crying on that peaceful day. I was crying for my senpai, Saga was his name at the time.

He was so broken and alone at the time, I wanted to end that for him. I offered to listen to his problems if it would help get the pain off his chest, even if a little.

I cried my eyes out listening for him when he bestowed on me everything that was wrong in his life then he took me to his house and…had me.

It was my first time and unbearably painful and he was merciless.

Blood oozed down my thighs and his hands were taking pleasure in bruising me but I kept my mouth shut and sucked everything up.

_If it will help ease his pain._

I chanted to myself, like a mantra, trying to block out the rest of my mind that knew this was wrong. What he was doing to me. The pain he was inflicting on me.

I never gave my consent,

I told him to stop until he overpowered me,

When it all became too much I resorted to go limp and block it all out,

Refusing to see the evil face of my first love.

It was wrong and I was a stupid love sick puppy that blinded himself with his tail between his legs obediently when he should have ran for the hills before his innocence was taken.

That day was the start of it all.

The beginning of the end of Onodera Ritsu.

Aka Oda Ritsu.

My life changed from there…

* * *

It was freshman year in college when I couldn't go on with blinding myself anymore. My heart was freezing over, I could feel it in my entire being.

The chill glazing over my love muscle, like a blizzard, icing the one place that kept me warm since birth. The fear of that sent me desperately holding on to the warmth I still had left.

Enough was enough.

I had to leave.

It's funny because what happened afterwards was much worse than then my first year in high school. And the irony of it all I was a freshman back then in high school as well when life decided to fuck me over.

Literally.

**"So this is how you feel!" **I recalled him beating me anywhere and everywhere he could reach, dragging me to the window of my dorm. My roommate was gone, left for the winter holidays.

**"You want to leave me, huh? HUH? YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!?"**

My body thrashed, struggling to get out of his hold as he tried to throw me out from seven feet in the air.

**"You are not leaving me" **his voice hissed in my ear, lowering to a more frighteningly one that promised what it said. **"I'll take you to the depths of hell with to keep you at my side Onodera." **

That part of me that remained unfrozen cried out scared of the devil's wrath. He begged the prince of darkness, now dubbed Takano san, to stop.

Told him he wouldn't leave

That he still loved him.

Oh how I hated that weak person I was back then. Such a coward still believing love was pure when in truth he was just scared of death.

There was no love.

Never was.

Love is a poison that will rip your wings off and kill you oh so slowly.

It destroys you.

* * *

It was nice conversing with that woman/girl Cel san but the memories that came afterwards I could do without.

The month passed already and every scab disappeared leaving nothing but memorial scars in their places. My chest still sort of hurt though but not as much as my psych.

My mind wants to explode, break down from all the memories invading me. The pain and hatred I buried wants to leak out from every pore of my body and taint everything in my path.

I start my job later and hopefully it will distract me enough to get me through the day. I wash my face and brush my teeth thinking about how this shall be my first time setting foot out since I got to this village.

What should I expect?

Might as well dress to impress right?

I put on a pair of dark denim jeans with a supposed to be fitting blue shirt. It's chilly out (to me anyways) so I put on my black wool sweater that comes down to my knees.

My clothes got bigger on me again…

Sigh.

Losing weight sucks especially if you're anemic bordering on becoming anorexic. Wonder if I should find that doctor what's-his-name for some medicine to prevent that from happening.

Nah.

Just deal with it on your own Ritsu.

The icy air slapped my face hard once I got out into the cold hair. The country side is more colder than Tokyo. Don't want to be here for winter.

Memories of the past continued to plague me this awful morning because when the morning hit, I remembered a particular time when Takano kicked me out of OUR apartment. He always kicked me out at times but this one was in the middle of winter.

A day before his birthday.

He didn't want me in the house because I wouldn't give him any and we fought (fist fought mind you) pretty hard that night. He won though (damn ruler throwing prick) and locked me out in nothing but a tank top and my boxers.

It was snowing that year and because of my anemia I had to be admitted to a hospital the next day.

Shaking the memories away FAR FAR away I continued on my way reaching the library knowing where it stood from memory of my first arrival here.

Inside was…peculiar.

Fujiwara san was on the phone squealing like a love sick girl in high school while nose bleeding. You can see the hearts in the eyes.

Idiot.

Why do we humans fall in love if love doesn't exist?

I may never know.

A whiny noise brought me out of my musings. Turning to the side, Yukina is sitting at one of the tables scowling. No, not scowling, pouting.

He's pouting like a child not wanting to do his homework. He was reading some papers and groaning. As I watched him and his childish antics, a foreign yet somewhat familiar feeling starts bubbling in the pit of my stomach.

Lately that's been happening a lot around Yukina and I don't like it one bit. Through this whole month, the blonde guy has been bugging me, trying to get me to speak or hang with him.

At first it was a pain in my behind, now, I don't know.

It's just a weird feeling.

Although like the other times, I just squashed that little emotion that choose to rebel against me. I may not be able to decipher it but I sure as hell do not wish to find out!

I don't even understand these people!

Why are they so nice?

What's their game exactly?

I don't get it.

"Onodera?" I blinked stupidly, coming out of my thoughts.

The idiot smiled obviously surprised.

Not really knowing what to say I raise an eyebrow and ask "What you doing?" I strode towards him raising both eyebrows at his paper.

**"_The Allegory of the cave"_**

I don't miss the red tint creeping over his cheek as he explains "That's homework from my school but it's hard!" so he IS a boy who doesn't want to do homework. "I'm supposed to this and analyze it but…I don't understand it…" his childish face goes red. Weirdo.

That bubbly feeling comes back making it harder than before to squish it down. So unnerving…

"Idiot." I call myself but it slipped out unintentionally so Yukina thinks I called him that. He stares at me as if I back handed him. So pained.

Gulping, I take the seat next to him and begin to explain his homework to him. "What do you know about Socrates?"

He looks baffled for a moment before thinking, his brows furrow together. I help him out in fear he'll hurt himself from thinking too much.

"He was a philosopher that believed no one (even himself) knew anything about anything. He believed we were all ignorant and was blind to all truths. So when followers asked a question he would just tell them the answer, they wouldn't learn like that. He GUIDED them to the answers they sought through stories or, in this case, allegories."

Taking the pamphlet, I point out "Like in this story for example. What do you think this story was referring to? Was it just about a slave seeing the world for a first time or more? Find the hidden meaning, relate this to the knowledge YOU know. Is it talking about the government, people, life in general? Broaden your thinking. Got it?"

Ha?!

Why is he looking at me like that?

"What?" I glare feeling a weird heat spread over my cheeks against my will.

"Nothing just…this is the longest I heard you talk to _ME_ is all"

My cheeks burns and I try to glare harder. "I was only trying to help you moron!" out of all that, all he got was me talking to him! What's his problem?!

Before I can storm away he tugs on the sleeve of my sweater making me stop in my action.

"No please!" his face is begging "I'm sorry. Can you help me with the rest of my homework?"

Fuck off is my most definite answer but those words get stuck in my throat. I know that look all too well. I see that look at times when I look in the mirror.

Sitting back down, I look at the papers refusing to look at that pleading face. That face of warmth beginning to not be hurt.

"Fine but only because there's nothing better to do!" I point to his brother at this who is still squealing on the phone.

That look goes away, replaced by that annoying sparkly smile. "Thank you Onodera."

The corner of my lips twitch awkwardly "Welcome." My voice is a whisper as we continue going over his papers. Being thanked by someone makes me feel weird…no one hasn't thanked me in so long…

The feeling in my gut intensifies along with my paranoia.

I hate feeling this.

Giant bastard Yukina.

Playing games with me.

"Eeep! Guess what guys!" Fujiwara jumped on our table knocking Yukina off his chair, face first in the floor. "Kisa's coming tonight!"


	6. A hateful angel's paranoia

**pink frozen rose: I know forgive me! I won't leave Our best friend's ghost hanging but in that one i'm lacking inspiration. I will update though but it might not be a long story...*RUNS AWAY* **

**DeathNoteLover235: As always~ thank you! and enjoy this you awesome girl you!**

**xXDark15AngelXx: face what happens next. FACE IT! *evil laughs* :3 **

**hiyokocchi: Don't worry; that's why Yukina's in this story! (hopefully he fixes ritsu!) or he'll fail:l**

**RENAImochi:Glad you like the panda. who am i joking. EVERYBODY LOVES PANDAS! XD  
**

**Misagi: I just read your new chapter and i just want to say "OJCSHDVBNIUOSHFVBSJCLHGSBDCJDVXUICSB SDGJSKFHJVCNS DJBX! Why Ritsu? WHY?! Talk about bad timing! Don't go! be a burden to Takano if it means you won't go back to Yokozawa!" lol see now you have two reviews from me lol. enjoy this please!  
**

**Guest: Yah~ My stories of riXyu are loved! My heart feels like exploding from happiness right now.**

**CiciGee1: :3 glad to see your still here considering you say you lose interest easily lol. I'M SO HONORED!  
**

**malikaisha5: Yeah...fragile heart ended sorry:( BUT THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL! And *spoiler alert* Ritsu's little baby will be turning five in the beginning! :D I want to thank you for being patient with this neko and continuing to take the time to actually read the stories:D I'm glad:3  
**

**Manga Ren: Long time no see! I'm glad you agree we need more YuXRi fanfics on this website so that's why i want to encourage EVERYONE (doesn't matter if you not that good because i'll still read it) to begin writing these pairings stories! It could be one shots if you want, up to you guys but i think it'll be cool:/  
**

**forever-fangirling1997: Are you enjoying this story so far? HAVE FUN!**

**Omg! I didn't think anybody liked Cel much! I was surprised when most of you were like "Yah Cel's back!" or something along those lines! anyways~ Back to our little Jaded Ritsu!**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

Fujiwara paced restlessly, checking his wrist watch every minute groaning as we waited for his lover's train to arrive. His routine was really beginning to tick me off, making me question myself why I agreed to come along to wait with him.

Then I remembered.

I didn't want to be alone with Yukina. That's just too awkward for me.

"_You don't want quality alone time with me?" _

I shake my thoughts away. He was only messing around, I know that, so why do I keep recalling his words?

Moreover, why don't I call him and Fuji both Yukina? They are brothers….did I seriously call Fujiwara Fuji? What is wrong with me?

That's like giving him a nickname and accepting them. I haven't done that since…

"There he is!"

"Ah?"

I coughed as black smoke from the train's arrive invaded my lungs. The coldness in the air was starting to get thicker so I wrapped my sweater tighter around my body in hopes of keeping warm.

Fuji…I mean Fujiwara ran through the smoke screaming "KISA CHAN!" and I quote "My lovely bride to be one day!" should I be embarrassed by the idiot?

"Get off me idiot!" a clearly irritated voice yells out.

Coming out from the smoke, Fujiwara hugs/drags some teen looking boy with him. Doe brown eyes twitch in irritation then widens when laying eyes on me.

"I thought you said Kisa san was 30?" unconsciously I blurted that out succeeding in making the teen flinch while blushing feverously.

Fujiwara just laughs before enlightening. "He is 30! Just has a baby face. Cute right?"

Ok.

I willed my face to remain emotionless while on the contrary my insides were anything but emotionless. I was at a loss for words would be an understatement because, honestly, isn't there a limit to how young a person CAN look?!

"Ano…hi?" the short ravenette turns a dark cherry red.

I nodded in acknowledgement as the tallest of the three of us introduced us to each other then proceeded to drag his lover.

Watching them a tiny part of me can't help but feel some sort of envy deep inside me. The other 99 percent of me sighs in knowledge, thinking;

Nothing blinds a person more.

_You could always leave you know._

My mind spoke.

_Just get yourself a ticket and leave. You owe the brothers nothing so leave. _

Turning ever so slowly towards the ticket booth, I stared, debating.

Questioning

Wondering

How long will it be before Takano finds me?

What will he do if or when he does?

His words of that night sing through the wind, taunting me over and over again.

_"I'll take you to the depths of hell with me to keep you at my side Onodera."_

That overwhelming fear I haven't felt in years began creeping over me, freezing me to the bone. The coldness doesn't leave and likely it never will.

I am chained to the ice of my first love and he will never let me go. I know it.

Gripping my sides feeling the points of my hip bone, I turn away from the booth and go back convincing myself I'm only being paranoid.

There's nothing to be paranoid about. The coldness is only due to the temperature in the air that is making me shiver a bit.

_Is it? _That same voice dares to stand up to me as I choose to stamp it down.

There's no way he'll find me.

_Sure about that?_

That was a long time ago and he was just bluffing.

_Really, because his words sounded pretty damn earnest in fulfilling them._

I stop outside the steps of Yukina's house and look back. My brows furrow as I watch my breath mingle with the chilly night air.

These thoughts aren't necessary.

_Yes they are!_

"Shut up" just shut up and stay quiet will you.

I'm strong

I can handle myself fine.

I don't need silly emotions to get stressed up on.

As much as I would have enjoyed eating alone in the guest room like every other night, I was forced to eat at the table with everybody else.

Fujiwara wouldn't stop whiny until I agreed so here I am, around the table Fujiwara and his lover sat on one side while I and Yukina sat on the other.

The brothers cooked.

Now, define "awkward".

You'll end up picturing this dinner, to be more precised, me and Yukina.

The two love birds are flirting and practically giving us a friggin porn show with how they feed each other while Yukina and I are forced into an uneasy silence. The goof keeps glancing at me then again I find myself doing the same.

The thought of that frustrates me to no end that I don't touch my food.

"Onodera?"

"Yes?" mindlessly I reply.

Blondish/brown eyebrows knit together as cinnamon eyes take on a determined look. "I don't want to offend you or anything but you should eat more."

"Eh?"

"You hardly eat and it makes me worry. Does it hurt to eat much or something? Does you breastplate still hurt that you aren't able to stomach much?"

Yes and no.

It's called being ANEMIC meaning throwing up what doesn't sit well with me and sadly that's about everything, especially stuff with milk in it like mac and cheese.

But of course I'm not going to tell him that.

So instead I shrug indifferently "I just don't get that hungry." Somewhat true.

Those eyes cast downward "You should eat though. You're looking as pale as a ghost, paler actually since this morning."

The entire table goes dead silent at this causing me to go a humiliated red. I'm talking darker than blood type red!

"Now that he mentions it, you are looking thinner than when you first arrived Onodera." Fujiwara chimes in, his expression creepily similar to Yukina's.

They were only worried about me.

I understood that but that didn't stop anger from rising up. They were treating me like some kid who's weak and didn't understand anything. I hate feeling weak! And I hate that they were getting close to thinking up some questions.

I was fuming but being level headed, I kept myself from popping.

That is until a third voice joked "You're even thinner than me! Makes me sort of jealous, what your secret Ono chan? Malnutrition?"

I didn't trust my mouth, who knows what profanity will leave its confine.

So I threw my iciest glare making the chibi old man flinch and whimper a little as I got up and stalked out the room. good. I got him shaking at least.

My head throbbed with all the remaining anger so I decided to get a glass of water to cool down. I stood by the door way sipping some water. From the corner of my eyes I could see Yukina eyeing me, worry and what looked to be confusion written in his honey for eyes.

I ignored the prying look as Kisa talked again.

"Wow that was so scary! When he glared I literally saw my boss before me." he made a dramatic shiver "Such coldness!"

"Your boss Kisa?" Fujiwara was angry, you could tell.

"Yup!" doesn't even notice the anger.

"You mean the one that through that stapler at you and slept with half of the staff?"

"Yup!"

Wow…that guy must be a slut. Sleeping around?

Disgusting.

I bet if that guy had I lover he probably would have spread STD already or something.

"What was his name again Kisa san?" Fujiwara asked most likely wanting to know the name so he can save in some 'to kill' list. Heh.

I close my eyes as I take another sip unaware of the mistake I made that moment.

"Masamune Takano!"

Water splashes all over along with brutal coughing and a crashing sound. Chairs in the other room clatter as the occupancy came to see what happened.

Long calloused fingers rested on my both sides of my face, lifting it gently so my green eyes can meet their owner.

"Onodera what happened? You ok?"

Of course I'm not!

Do I LOOK ok to you?!

"Fine…I'm fine." my voice is weak from finishing coughing. I couldn't bring myself to snare or snap as Yukina helped me to my feet.

The tsunami of fear prevented me from doing so, along with a whole lot of anger. It felt like a hurricane came straight through me leaving me shaky and rigid and the more I thought about what Kisa san said, the more fierce the hurricane became.

Sleeping around!

SLEEPING AROUND!

Oh Takano san! I have stuck out everything you've done to me, the abuse, the possessiveness, but this! Sleeping around behind MY back!

Me who you kept chained, you cheated on with HALF OF THE DAMN SLUTS AT YOUR JOB!

Ha! And to think you use to accuse ME of not being able to keep it in my pants!

Whore, slut, fucker, "Possessive bastard." Without thinking my mouth said that aloud and still dying to say all the curse words in the book and much more!

I want to scream, punch, beat someone up, laugh, cry, but I can't.

I couldn't.

Wouldn't.

Didn't.

Instead I did what I learned to do long ago.

Bury everything deep within.

After I few most needed moments, my headache went to the pint of numbness. Inside as well as out. I didn't even feel or notice the gash in my arm from a piece of glass that cut me.

Ignoring the stares I cleaned up my mess, bowed goodnight, then retired.

All while screaming from the icy winter land of my heart.

It's so ironic.

I believe Takano killed me in college but still, even now, the fucker manages to make me feel like I did during our school days.

_**Dead.**_

* * *

**Oh no!  
**

**What will happen?**

**I'll give you a hint: *clears thought* Yukina decides it's high time he finds out about Onodera's behavior and first name. With the help of Cel and a blue eyed doctor, they find some things are better left alone but is it all to the puzzle?  
**

**Just to warn you guys, this summary isn't just for the next chapter. It's for The CHAPTERS i will be writing soon. I want to break the flashbacks up into chapters (fillers) so things would be a bit more interesting ok.**

**:3**

**ja~**


	7. redemption for an angel

**BACK TO YUKINA!**

**Also if you have read _Don't read this Onodera Sensei_ then you'll know about me thinking putting the story _our best friend's ghost_ up for adoption.**

** My writer's block for that one isn't going away and i don't want to just delete it and have you guys kill me so adoption would be wiser. But i don't just want to give the story to just anyone.**

** It HAS TO be a person who will finish it and not drop it like nothing got it. So if anyone who wants to continue what i can't and make that story their own, PM me to let me know ok. **

**Now for the story.**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

After the fiasco I called Cel. Onodera's behavior today was very worrisome and what went on at dinner makes my stomach churn all the more. And the words he spoke…

"_You possessive bastard."_

He must think I didn't hear that but I did. Who was he referring to and what was it that set him off?

Urg!

Cel where are you?!

"Yo~"

"GAH!" I jumped "C-Cel!"

Said lady jumped on my back, grinning her cynical grin. "How you get in?" I asked. The door is locked and now that I remember… "And last time too! How?!"

What I think is supposed to look innocent smile grows but it scares me all the more. The same goes for her words.

"I told you silly Kou chan." Her childish voice sends involuntary chills down my spine "I have my ways~"

Just drop it Just drop it Just drop it Just drop it

"You scare me Cel."

She laughs "Good." Next her eyes narrow like a predator and all humor leaves her personality. "Now why'd you call me?" I get the feeling she already knows why.

"It Onodera"

Her eyes grow sharper and more dangerous as I relay the events of tonight to her.

"It was weird. The moment Kisa's boss was mentioned, Onodera freaked out. It was like he knew the guy himself you know."

"What was the boss's name?"

"I can't remember. I wasn't paying attention to Nii san and his lover. I know they said 'a name' I just can't remember what it was. I think it started with a Ta…"

Still clinging to my back, Cel sighs muttering "It does indeed sound like he knows this guy boss. Perhaps they met in the past?" thinking Cel says "Well I can share what he told me, though it wasn't detailed. The best approach, I think, is to look up his background history."

Uh…. "Isn't that invasion of privacy Cel?"

"NO! ok yes but it's necessary bitch so suck it! Plus I found out Nowaki chan already found out some info (like Onodera's first name)."

I don't know whether to be happy or guilty as hell with the way Cel smirks at me. I want to know but what if Onodera's past is forbidden? Am I crossing a taboo not meant to be crossed? Learning a knowledge not meant for my mind to learn?

"Why Nowaki?" my curiosity wins.

Cel rolls her eyes at me, clearly annoyed at what she like to call 'my stupid question', before pointing out "Nowaki's a DOCTOR." Matter of factly. "He'll be able to obtain medical records, a first name, stuff like that. Am I getting through to your thick head here man?"

Smiling sheepishly (I guess my question was stupid) I nod a bit.

"Good now let's go get that doc!"

From behind us a third voice echoes making us jerk around panicking.

"Don't bother."

Oh my god I think I just had a heart attack!

"N-nii san!" I chided.

What if Onodera heard us and came down to see what was going on?

Nii san comes in trailed by the man we were on our way to see. Shutting the door behind them, the two men looks worn out.

Disturbed

Worried

Mostly Nowaki though. He looks as if he's been deprived of much needed sleep. Picture a tall anorexic panda high on weed. That's how Nowaki look right now, with dark (almost black) bags under his eyes.

Disturbing to see and also rare to see from Nowaki who's always cheerful and smiling just as much as I am. Then again I don't remember ever not smiling as much as I am now.

From his coat, Nowaki presented us with a thickly binded almost book like folder. The thing looked old and new at the same time.

"When I treated him" Nowaki began sounding how he looked. Wary. "I took it upon myself to find out why Onodera was in the state he was in since he refused to tell me anything besides a last name. luckily though, a last name was all I needed."

Opening the thick ancient papers he continued explaining his investigation. "Normally Onodera is a common name so finding one in a hospital down in Tokyo would be problematic. However, in a certain hospital I use to study at, a particular Onodera stood out to me from their list of patients. He was a constant patient there. As fate would have it, the doctor that treated him every time was my old sensei Tsumori. I called my sensei and asked him for information about his Onodera patient and if he had any pictures I could see."

He cuts himself off not really wanting to go on but I have to know. It's ripping my chest not knowing.

"Well Nowaki?"

Shaking his mops of black hair and sighing, he takes out pictures from the folder, placing all of them on the floor for us to see. And the images I see makes me run to the nearest trash bin and wrench my dinner.

That is when Nowaki continues.

**"Onodera Ritsu**. He is age 25 now, birthday unknown, an orphan since birth. He's been in and out of this hospital for about ten years now."

Cel's voices what I currently can't.

"When did it all start?" her eyes scan the pictures, anger set in her jaw.

"Since he was 15. It wasn't much then but it began advancing to the point Tsumori sensei had to call the police for investigation."

"And?"

"…they couldn't get anything out of Onodera."

He points to the first photo.

"It wasn't until he was 17 that the cops were called once more. Onodera refused to say anything again even though he was practically beaten to death. Broken nose, fractured jaw, six broken ribs, sprained ankles, wrist, and numerous burn marks from rope were found on his legs (mostly thighs and ankles) and arms (the wrists). Sensei had to force him to take a…an anal exam since these were some symptoms of rape."

Oh god…god no.

No one said a thing.

All eyes were on me as if waiting for me to speak up and ask Nowaki to continue or turn back and pretend I heard nothing.

"W-what were the results?" I can feel my body threatening to break down and fall apart. My hands wouldn't stop shaking from fear of knowing.

I felt as if I released something evil.

I felt like that girl did in the story of Pandora, when she opened Pandora's Box due to her curiosity and hell came out.

Everything around me literally seemed to crash down on me when my question, those four little words, opened the box I wished I left alone.

"Positive."

Keh…

"And from what I learned, it wasn't the first time he was sexually assaulted either."

I closed my eyes wanting to block this all out, repress my memory, but I knew better.

"There's more following the years after that."

There's no use going back once knowing the truth. I just have to accept it and be strong for the angel that is hurt upstairs sleeping. Who knows the mental damage the poor creature received.

"What happened after that? What were the other times he's been hospitalized?" my voice comes out stronger than a second ago.

One by one, Nowaki picks up each photo and holds them up to give us medical summary for each photo.

"Age 18: throughout the year he's been in for cuts, bruises, stitches, broken arm, and knife gash to the thigh. There were even some indications of him being in a fire with the lack of oxygen in his lungs.

Age 19: more broken ribs, malnutrition, head wound made by a blunt object, slashes on the back from a butter knife, cigarette burns, and more sexual injuries.

Age 20: Gunshot to the shoulder blade and sever bruises along with welts.

Age 21: Hit by a car that sent him in a coma for three whole months. There were distant hands and bite marks on his neck and hips.

Age 22: Pneumonia from being out at night in the middle of winter. That's bad considering he's anemic and wasn't dressed properly. He drowned this year but medics revived him. More symptoms indicating rape.

Age 23: Arm got popped out of place, again Pneumonia, deep cuts from broken glass, bite marks all over his body.

Age 24: four broken fingers caused by a very heavy object, internal bleeding, seizure, concussion, more malnutrition, starvation, extreme signs of depression and aggression, and paranoia."

"And then there's how I found him." My legs gave out from under me. The world looked like it was closing in on me, threatening to swallow me in insanity.

That much, I thought sobbing.

He's been through all that.

How could he not have gone mad by being hurt like that?

Why would an angel like him allow himself to fall from grace?

Why?

"Kou?" my brother's by my side worried. I can't blame him. I've never felt depressed before as if I was the one that went through all the suffering. It was scaring me as well.

My heart felt like someone ripped it from my chest and burned it in my face.

"Oi" Cel popped me outside the head "Don't break down on us dumbass! We're not done with the mystery yet!"

I looked up confused.

How could we not be done?

Scoffing as if she read my mind, she turns back to Nowaki "The orphanage you mentioned. Do you know the name of it and if we can contact the owners?"

Checking my head for a concussion (Cel hits hard as heck!) he shakes his head. "He was raised in an orphanage called 'Earthians'. I already tried contacting the place but no luck. The previous owners passed away and the new owners moved away."

"Where to?"

"Somewhere here in Kyoto but in a different village. Don't know which."

Everyone sat in silence, each thinking different things.

As for me, my mind was a mess, too much information in one night, but I knew one thing. I still want to help Onodera and hopefully help him find grace again.

Redemption for an angel.

That urge to pick him up and out of his divine hell didn't waver as I suspected, no, it only intensified. Filling a fire in me that burned like something I've never felt in all my life.

"We should find the orphanage" aloud I said.

Everyone looked at me, absorbing what I said.

Then

"Why?" Cel questioned. Her sharp eyes studied me, testing me. "Why dig into a past that's not yours?" she sounded ignorant but cunny all the same.

"So I can help him." I answered honestly.

"Why?"

"Because he's broken and I want to fix him." My eyes bore into hers silently asking 'satisfied'?

"Why?" apparently not.

"Cause I don't want him to be sad anymore."

"Why?"

"Because…he's like an angel who lost his way…" I sound so cheesy!

But it gets Cel quiet for a moment, her eyes flicker with thoughts. Kneeling down to me, she asked sincerely "Kou chan…do you love Onodera? Answer truthfully."

My jaw slackens.

L-love Onodera?

"Think carefully about this before you choose to continue to dig into his life Kou. With a broken angel like him, trust never comes easy."

I watch as everyone excluding my brother walks out leaving me with Cel's words of wisdom ringing throughout my head loudly.

I wasn't able to go to bed that night looking up at the ceiling, thinking.

Do I love Onodera?

I think I do…

My mind is constantly occupied with the brunet, he makes butterflies go berserk in my tummy, I hate it seeing him broken and I can't do anything about it. It breaks me.

My heart thumps loudly in my chest every second I see his face or feel his presence in the same room.

I love when he blushes.

It's so cute!

_Ba-bump!_

Love…

_"Do you love Onodera?"_

_Ba-bump!_

I'm such an idiot.

The signs were always there and I didn't realize it til now.

"Idiot Kou" I mumbled drifting off to sleep. "I guess I do love Onodera, no, I love _**Ritsu.**_"

* * *

**Tell me what you think!**

**And AGAIN if any of you lovely writers want to adopt _Our Best Friend's Ghost _PM me ok!**

**As for other stories~~~**

**meh._.**

**who knows...NYAN!**


	8. Little ill angel

**Hello again~**

**Two chapters in one day WHAT?! I was gonna be lazy and not keep typing today but then i got bored and decided to move my ass lol. Don't worry i AM working on my other stories (so don't hunt me down) but inspiration is still flowing for this story so NYAH! **

**DeathNoteLover235: Oh wow lol. Your hatred for Onodera must be deep ne? As for Takano, he will come up don't worry lol, but first i have to fill in the past! **

**pink frozen rose: Oh you have no idea *cynical smile* just wait til next chapters~**

**Guest: AH! Yeah~ more sadistic people *peace sign* haha it's kind of ironic we're doing peace signs while talking about torture and ritsu getting hurt beyond recovery lol! **

**Now!**

**I haven't don't this in a while and i don't want to confuse you readers so...**

**POVS!**

**1~ Narrator (what? you were expecting Yukina? sorry-_-)**

**2~ Yukina! (There, satisfied? TT_TT)**

**3~ Onodera! (shit goes down people O.O) **

**Enjoy~**

* * *

_"Kagetsuya nii!" a little sick Ritsu whined. The six year old was lying in his bed with a wet cloth on his feverous head looking up at his older 'brother'. "Kagetsuya nii~ read me a story." _

_He coughed wheezing to get some oxygen into his tiny lungs. Oh how the child loathed being ill. He felt like his heart would break out his ribcage every time he coughed. Not to mention he had to throw up what seems like every minute! Yuck!_

_The only thing that eased him when sick was stories._

_"Kagetsuya nii please!" their foster parents were out with his little brother Chihaya, leaving Kagetsuya to watch after sick Ritsu. _

_"No!" said brother snapped trying to ignore his little brother's soft whimpers. _

_"Please" small sniffles whacked the under weighted child's body. _

_Hating that his younger sibling was sad and dying from the pain of his fever, which still hasn't went down, Kagetsuya sighed in defeat._

_He had a short temper but when it came to the people he loved, especially delicate family like Ritsu who got sick often, Kagetsuya was the most protective and gentle brother out there._

_"Fine but only one book understand spoiled brat." _

_Smiling brightly with stars in his emerald eyes, Ritsu cheered "Hai!" _

_The kid loved his brothers. Sure he knew there weren't really brothers and that he was actually an orphan but to him the Earthians orphanage was his home and everyone there was his family. _

_They all wrapped him love and warmed him to the kindle of his heart and he loved them all for that. They were his heaven, his paradise, his love in and out. _

_That day, little Ritsu fell asleep listening to the words of a book pouring out like sonata music from his big brother's mouth._

* * *

"Achoo!" Ritsu sniffled as I placed a wet cloth on his burning forehead.

I nearly had a heart attack when I found him in the morning. Shivering and trying to crawl to the bathroom to puke.

I've come to see if he was still sleeping this morning before heading out to give Cel's my answer.

Blushing at this, I gently tuck the cause of my blushing snugly in the sheets. He looks so serene, sleeping there with no worries of getting hurt anymore.

To think someone like him lived through all that he has.

"Mn…"

Eh? Did he say something right now?

I put my ear close to his lips feeling his breath tickle my lobe a bit. My eyes widen when a single name leaves those pink lips.

"Kagetsuya…"

It held such adoration that I became painfully jealous of the name. Was that possible? To get envious of a name. I want it to be my name he calls, no one else's.

"Kagetsuya~!"

No.

"It's me Onodera" I say softly "Yukina."

Momentarily green eyes open still dazed in sleep. "Eh?" he sounded like a confused child, so vulnerable. His demeanor wasn't jaded or as hostile as he would have been if not sick and it makes me wonder.

Was this how he was before some horrible demon got him?

"Yukina?" sleepiness overtakes the brunet again forcing him to obey its call.

"Shh, sleep ok." I trace his cheek with the back of my hand. "Kisa san's gonna take care of you while I'm gone ok, so just rest, _Ritsu._"

Eyes half shut, Onodera slurs slightly before completely succumbing to sleep.

"How do you know my…first…na-m…e." light snores fill the guest room as I watch him for a bit, the rise and fall of his chest. Peaceful.

Making positively sure he was completely sleeping, I smiled happily despite my worry.

I like the way his first name rolls off my tongue, foreign yet so intoxicatingly sweet.

"Get well _Ritsu_" placing a chaste kiss on his cheek, I leave out to meet up with Cel who just HAPPENED to be sitting up in the tree of my front yard. In front of the window to the guest room where my serene beauty is resting.

Grinning her Cheshire cat grin at me, she jumps down landing on her feet like a ninja. Unashamed sparkles were in her eyes.

"Well~" that sly cat voice purred "Your answer?"

Smiling my best dazzling smile (which never works on her like it does for every other girl) I cheer confidently. "I love him!"

Cheering along with me, Cel marches ahead shouting "Then let's go lover boy! Yeah!"

Sigh…I think she already knew my answer from the start…

Scary psycho woman.

* * *

GOD DAMN BOY LOOKING OLD MAN NEARLY SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH TODAY!

He was right in my face when I awoke!

I mean, come on man, every hear of PERSONAL SPACE!

I got him back when I coughed on his face and he ran out screaming 'Disinfectant!"

Still though!

He shouldn't do that when I'm sleeping. I wouldn't know who he was or what he would've done to me. I can't count how many times I woke up chained/tied to something with Takano grinning in my face!

I shiver.

Those mornings were horrid or was it nights?

I could never tell since he would lock me in the windowless room in his apartment.

That reminds me, how long have I've been out? I remember waking up in the morning throwing up yesterday's dinner (waste of food, damn) it's night time now…who put me back in bed?

I can still feel warm hands. How gentle they were.

I felt safe for once in a long time.

Calm.

Warm.

Loved…

I groaned.

What in the hell am I thinking?

Removing the wet cloth from my head I get up off the bed slowly. After putting on layers of clothes , I head out to go to the library.

Why you may ask.

Simple. It's comforting and I missed libraries. When I was a kid I would always go to a library. The library has always been some sort of comforting parent to me, protecting me from cruel bullies or making me smile when I was sad.

The books were like a parent's arms wrapping me in a hug with all the sweet stories they had to give me. Heh, whenever I got sick and wanted to feel a parent's love, I would ask anyone for a story, something to remind me of the library.

Ha! The one person who I drove mad with asking was Kagetsuya, my brother. He hated my whining but he was such a good story teller that I looked forward to sick days after the first time he read to me.

I stopped going to libraries later or anywhere in general though after meeting Takano san. He got jealous easily, even jealous of books. It didn't matter to him if it was a person or inanimate object. My eyes were only to belong to him.

Instinctively my arm throbs knowing what happened the day I learned of my ex lover's jealousy of the books I held close to my heart.

_**"****Your eyes should only look at me like that!"**_

_**"****Stop Saga! Please it hur—ah!"**_

He broke my arm that day after stabbing me in my thigh and tying me down with rope to my bed and beating me. Afterwards he took every book I had and lit them on fire then left, leaving me to burn with them.

No one was home, they all went to see Chihaya's school play (we went to different schools.)

Unfortunately Kagetsuya got home before anyone else and saw the fire in my room. He got me out on time then took me to the nearest hospital.

I wasn't burned, my clothes a little but not my flesh, though I wish I have died in the fire with my books. I never told them what happened. Never opened my mouth. I went mute for a while and refused talking to everybody.

I can still clearly remember the look on my brother's face when I wouldn't fess up. That look—

Dammit, stop.

Stop thinking all this crap!

It won't do anything, won't reverse time, and take back what you wish you could.

So what's the point of remembering?

I just want my parent's (the library) warmth.

Stopping in front of the place, two guys are inside with Kisa san and from the looks of it, they aren't after books.

"Hey baby~ want to come home with us and have a little fun." The guy with chains on his pants asks smirking.

"Yeah kid~" the other guy who looks like a monkey starts to pull Kisa's wrist. "Come on, we'll treat you right kiddo~"

Silently I creep back. On the side of the door, a broken rusted pipe lays on the ground for me to pick up. Kisa san is screaming for the men to let them go and leave.

Quietly, I sneak in with the object at hand behind the guys soundlessly.

"Let go!" They pin Kisa on the desk with his hands above his head, spreading his leg, and ripping his shirt apart. "No!"

I see myself there, screaming, begging for someone, anyone to save me. And Takano san is just laughing at me, taunting me as always.

Gripping the pipe tighter I allow my anger to take control and bite the men like a rabid animal. With one swing to the head, one of the filthy shits falls to the ground, bleeding.

The jagged edge of the pipe cut him from lip to ear.

"Who the fuck are you!?" Mr. chains, stilling pinning Kisa down, curses.

My chest coiled with fury looking at the punk. So ugly and disgusting, taking what isn't theirs to mentally fuck them up.

It sickens me!

"Get out." My voice is motionless but tells all who hear it not to fuck with me.

Apparently the cold fucker didn't get my polite warning.

"Who the fuck you think you are—wimp!"

I lost it when he throws a book at me and said "Did I strike a nerve nerd boy?" testing my already thin patience and ruining other books. My parents.

Stalking up to him and getting in his face, I give him a strong blow to his tempo sending him off of Kisa and onto the ground like the dirt he is.

"Fucker" I get the shit out of his sides making him cough out blood. When I'm done I glare sending shivers down his body. "Get. The, Fuck. Out. If you refuse my polite demand, I. Will. Kill. You."

As quick as he pissed his pants, the chain pants guy scrambles out dragging his unconscious pal with him.

I probably should have felt proud, ecstatic even, for standing my ground and saving someone but I didn't. I didn't feel proud or pleased or a smidge of happy in the least!

Just more anger.

Why can't I win against Takano like this?

I took so many fighting lessons and kendo an judo but with Takano I could never win. Why?

Why did I always waver?

If he finds me, will I still waver to kick his ass?

…do I still love Takano san somewhere in what's left of my heart?

"Onodera?!"  
"Ritsu nii?!"

At the door six figures stare at me with open mouths.

Four I'm not surprised to see but the other two throws me in a loop and makes me wish the ground would swallow me.

Then it hits me.

This whole scene.

Me

A pipe with blood

Kisa crying and half naked

More blood on the ground

Culprits are gone

_**I am so fucked!**_

* * *

**Haha looks like someone has some explaining to do:D **

**Ritsu: *looks away* I did nothing.**

**Fuji: KISA!**

**Cel: You must love fucking characters up ne Neko chan?**

**Me: YEP! *no remorse what so ever***

**All sekai ichi hatsukoi characters: O.O *help us!**

**Me: NINE! **

**review?**


	9. Before the angel fell

_**Ok so this chapter might be a bit confusing so imma give a recap got it.**_

_**The first part is Yukina when him and the others went to the orphanage while Ritsu was sleeping in bed sick. **_

_**The next part is KAGETSUYA (bringing earthians back baby!) and he tells Yukina and gang the story of what he knows about ritsu's personality change ok. SO PAY ATTENTION!**_

**xXDark15AngelXx: Thank you! though i didn't rest much (youtube lol) and next chapter would be where we'll see what happens to our little ritsu! ok! **

**DeathNoteLover235: anyone else hmmm...well there IS me lol...:3 nah just kidding! Ritsu shall stay! As for the gang rape...we'll see ._.**

**pink frozen rose: can't harm an ant? *looks back at last chapter* e_e ...your right! he's too sweet for that and that's why he bashed the shit out of two guy's head! lol! just messing with you XD but yeah he getting blamed:l **

**RENAlmochi: here's the update! **

**Guest: Well you tell Fear we must have a lot in common lol and here! *shows sinful* this is my character sinful! she's just as fucked up and crazy! Sinful: I hate this prick already. *glares at Fear.* His soul's nasty looking too! Me: there you see! as for you lovely guest~ enjoy this chappy! **

**Enjoy~**

* * *

"Is this the place?"

"Says so on the paper."

The four of us stood outside the gate to a cozy little home surrounded by all types of flowers. We were wondering if this was the _Earthians _foster home.

Outside gardening and oblivious to our presence, a long raven tied in a ribbon haired guy was gardening. He was dainty and girl looking like Ritsu with soft lavender eyes and a smile on his face. He appeared to be talking to the flowers he was planting.

"Chihaya nee san!" two little boys covered in mud ran to him.

"I told you boys already. It's NII san! Not nee san." The guy looked offended to the point of tears when the kids didn't listen to him.

"There's some weird people watching you NEE san!"

"Eh?" lavender eyes looked our way finally taking notice of our presence. Eyes widen while the guy's arms wrapped around the two boys protectively. "W-who are you?" They looked wary of strangers.

Coming forth, I smiled in hopes of letting them know we didn't mean any harm. "I'm sorry for startling you guys but may I ask if this is the orphanage we were told about called Earthians?"

"Yes this is." Hesitatingly the guy replies "You want to adopt?"

I shake my head "Sorry no. We want to ask some questions." How to approach this topic… "Um…did by any chance the previous owners tell you about a boy named Onodera Ritsu?"

The boy pales on spot. He freezes for a minute before running in the house with the children yelling a name. "K-Kagetsuya!"

My eyes widen.

That was the same name Onodera said in his sleep.

A blond haired man with sapphire blue eyes steps out looking around frantically until he sees us. Running to us, he pulls my collar, and yells "What happened to Ritsu!"

All four of us exclaimed the same thing:

"EH?!"

* * *

_So you want to know what happened to Ritsu._

_What made him fall off his cloud in the heavens, down to the hell below?_

_I can't tell you much of his story._

_Only from what I saw with my eyes and heard with my ears._

_But I'll guess I'll start from the beginning._

_The days when our brother Ritsu wasn't the shell of the child he became later on._

_It was on the 27__th__ of March, sakura day. It was still chilly out; I had to put clothes out to dry for the younger ones and our foster parents. Yeah…when you're the oldest out of everyone, you have to watch out for them. _

_Anyways, I was hanging clothes on the line (though it was a bit difficult since I was still short) when an agonized wail rang out into the air. _

_Following the cries, I found a tiny baby bundled with the name Onodera on his blanket up on the front steps of the foster home. The little thing was crying from the coldness of the spring and soon the wails turned into coughing. I had to do something. So carefully, I picked the baby up and took him inside to show the owner._

_The adults called a doctor and tried looking for the kid's parents. It was useless however, the parents were never found (they suspected the parents abandoned the child) and the doctor pretty much written the baby off dead since the fever was so bad and the child was preborn as it seemed._

_But little did we know the bundle of tears would prove us wrong. A week later after the doctor said he was supposed to pass on, he became better. There were some problems with his health but nothing big and would kill him. _

_After that the adults taking care of us were thinking of first names to give the baby boy since there was only a last name when I found him. They decided Ritsu fitted him fine. It had a nice ring to it._

_Onodera Ritsu._

* * *

_"Kagi nii!" soon the baby became a toddler and was stealing people's hearts left and right with how bubbly and carefree he was._

_"Kagi nii, play wit us!" he couldn't pronounce his words right like all toddlers but he was a faster learner than other children. Him and Chihaya both. _

_The three of us were like true brothers. Me, the oldest, taking care of those two since they were the youngest. I would always have to take care of Ritsu when he got sick and everyone else had to be somewhere. As for him and Chihaya; most of the time they acted like twins with the way they acted together, many believed so while aweing at them._

_"Play!" they would jump on my back wanting me to acknowledge them then run away when I lost my temper and tried kicking them. I think they made it their hobby to anger me on purpose. Just so I can chase them around like an idiot. _

_"Ah kawaii" our foster mother would gawk "Look at our three angels, always so good to each other." _

_"Get off me!" _

_"Play! Play!"_

_"Kagi nii!"_

* * *

_During elementary the tree of us got picked on for our looks since all the other kids didn't have hair and eyes like us. I just ignored idiots that made fun of me or glared and Chihaya fought back verbally with his bullies._

_It was Ritsu that too sensitive and came home crying almost every day. We were all put in different classes so he didn't have Chihaya or me to comfort him in class. No one (that I heard) wanted to befriend him because of his green eyes and brown hair._

_"W-why don't anyone like me Kagetsuya nii?" he cried into my chest one time. "I d-don't w-w-ant to h-hurt them! I just want t-t-to be t-their frie-friend!" _

_"They're just stupid Ritsu so don't waste your time on them."_

_"Kagetsuya nii"_

_"Hm?"_

_"Am I an abomination that no parents want me?"_

_Shocked by this, I demanded "Who told you that" but he didn't answer. "Ritsu. Who. Told. You. That." I got angrier when he wouldn't fess up. "Tell me Ritsu, who told you, you were an abomination!?"_

_Yelling back, he cried "Am I?"_

_"No you're not."_

_"Then why…don't families want me?"_

_We stood quiet for a while, both of us had to cool off. It's was true people didn't want to adopt us because we didn't look 'presentable' to society but that didn't mean we were abominations and didn't have a family._

_Why couldn't Ritsu see this?_

_"Idiot" I hit him on the head making him cry out more._

_"Why'd you do that?!"_

_"Because you're stupid." _

_"Eh?" _

_"Listen to me brat" I stared into his eyes "Just because you don't have parents doesn't mean you don't have a family. This orphanage and everyone in here, me, Chihaya, the owners, all of us ARE your family and we all love you. Remember that next time and stop worrying what the kids at school says. They probably don't have enough love like you do at their homes. Hold your head up high and be the best you can be and the right kind of friends will come around got it."_

_The tears in his eyes dried up as he smiled softly and said "Hai" in his usual high pitched voice. "Thank you Kagetsuya nii."_

_"Whatever now leave; I want to continue reading my book."_

_"Heehee hai!"_

_After that his school life got easier. Not many kids were making fun of him since he just brushed them off and returned them with kindness. I saw how many kids wanted to be his friend after that day and loved hanging out with our now outgoing brother. _

_He even got some kids to come home and befriend Chihaya as well since out little brother was having some buddy trouble as well. _

_Ritsu became someone anyone grew to love. His aura was always welcoming and sweet and he always made sure to help others who needed it. _

_The idea kid._

_But he never forgot what I told him because no matter how shy or down he got he used the love of 'our family' to pick him us again. He became someone no one could take down._

_Until high school ruined him._

* * *

_I don't exactly know when it started. _

_Can't recall if it was when he came home limping and I noticed some blood streaking down his leg. Or if it was all those mysterious bruises he tried covering up but I still noticed. _

_Or was it the day I found him._

_Tied up_

_Beaten_

_Stabbed_

_Broken_

_Raped_

_We were out watching Chihaya's school play **Hamlet**. The three of us went to different high schools so our school events were different and we sometime had different schedules. _

_It was my senior year and I had got time off my school work to watch Chihaya's play. Ritsu couldn't come because he said he had to meet up with someone. He wouldn't tell me who._

_Throughout half of the play I left._

_I couldn't stop thinking about Ritsu._

_The look on his face when he told us he couldn't come. It was a mix of sadness and fear. Like someone was watching him when he was telling us he wouldn't be joining us. _

_I've never seen him look like that, never, and it worried me a bit._

_That and how he was changing._

_He was becoming paranoid or sensitive to everything. No one could tap him on the shoulder or hug him anymore with the way he flinched or shied away. It was like everyone's touch burned him and later on all his friends weren't his friends no more. _

_He was becoming a loner._

_The only one that I would see him with was this one senior like me. I never saw his face or heard his name other than "Senpai." _

_It irked me the way the man would act around Ritsu. Like he possessed Ritsu or something with the way he would keep Ritsu at his side (literally) and glare at anyone walking by them._

_The feeling in my gut was screaming out to hurry home, something bad was going on, and who knew I was right!_

_When I got to the foster home the side were ritsu's room was, was on fire. I remember screaming his name while running inside and finding him tied to the bed half naked and messed up. _

_I got him untied and out in time. After calling a fire department and our parents, I took Ritsu to the nearest hospital. They took multiple tests and did surgeries. One test that made me flip was a vaginal examine (in his case anal examine) that came out positive._

_We demanded even begged to know who did it to him but the Baka wouldn't cooperate. He choose to become mute instead so the police couldn't do anything and neither could I._

_Many 'incidents' happened after that, each one just as worse as others. He was being tortured and wouldn't tell anyone! _

_Finally I had enough and decided if he wasn't going to confess I would trick him to._

* * *

_It was his freshman year in college. I made my way over with some food our foster mother made for him along with a hidden camera built in my jacket in hopes of him opening up to like he use to and taping everything so we can find the guy that kept hurting him. _

_I knew he'll be in the music room since he loved playing instruments and singing when he was younger. No one complained since he had a great voice and only got greater as he grew. _

_I wasn't however expecting to see the boy at the piano looking more lifeless than before. It was like he lost an inner battle, you could see it in his eyes. Like he didn't have any more fight left to refuse the emptiness taking over him._

_You couldn't see the dark void in his orbs, scrubbed away of the person he used to be. Now he was only a shell of the brother I grew up with and took care of._

_This isn't my brother._

_My brother is lively and bubbly…not cold and distant._

_"Kagetsuya."_

_He didn't even sound like my brother._

_Who are you I wanted to ask. Where did Ritsu go?_

_All the life was sucked out of him. _

_It's been six years since then._

_Six years since we saw each other, talked to each other, six long years since that fight we had. Since the fight we had that day nothing's been the same. Chihaya didn't take it so well when he learned how Ritsu changed completely. _

_He became depressed._

_So did I but Chihaya was like Ritsu's twin, they were close, and it broke Chihaya seeing Ritsu die inside. It's been six years since we recovered and made the best out of our lives. We never forgot Ritsu, our brother, but we tried not thinking about him._

_Together we took over the orphanage after our foster parents died and moved to Kyoto. Away from memories that tore at our hearts every time. _

_Now here we are._

_A new place, new home, new life, but the past still follows._

"Now I told you what I know.

So tell me how do you know Ritsu and what happened to him?"

* * *

**OHHHH~~~  
What you guys think?**

**Did i maybe make it...sucky?**

**ANYWAYS!**

**Next chapter we'll get back to Ritsu and see what happens with him and his awkward situation ok!**

**Til next time (gotta go tackle some homework TT^TT)**


	10. angels are made of

**DeathNoteLover235 **

**xXDark15AngelXx**

**CiciGee1**

**pink frozen rose **

**Guest**

* * *

We couldn't phantom in time what was going on in that moment we set foot in the library. All we saw was Onodera with a pipe, blood, and a half naked Kisa crying on the desk.

"Onodera?!"  
"Ritsu nii?!"

Chihaya and I screamed but it was my brother Fuji that took everyone off guard.

In a flash Fuji knocked the pipe out of Onodera's hands and pinned him to the floor, his face got smashed into the blood.

We didn't react quick due to the shock but after seeing Onodera's face covered in blood and fearful, I shot forward knocking the wind out of my brother.

"What the hell!?" Fuji yelled trying to get out my hold.

Kisa ran up to us and started hugging him and begging him to stop. "Stop! Stop Fuji! You're misunderstanding this whole thing! Some guys came in and attacked me but Onodera saved me. he saved me Fuji!"

Things calmed down after that or so we had thought.

Onodera was still on the floor seeming to be in some pain. He was clutching his head and his big eyes got bigger. His body went into fetal position and continued tightening together in desire to try and disappear.

"Ritsu nii…" Chihaya tries touching him but the brunet shied away. He kept looking at wide at the blood he was covered in. "Ritsu nii look at me please." Lavender eyes looked desperate as he reached out once again.

Like a caged up animal Onodera slapped the hand away "No don't!" he covers his face with blood covered hands. "Don't touch me!"

The two 'older brother' Kagetsuya comes forth, pulling him up by his neck. Yeah…that doesn't result well either.

"Let me go!" Onodera's lithe body flips the bigger man.

We all tried to get through to him, even Cel (who was trying to find a way to sedate him), it wasn't until he and Kagetsuya began struggling again that I saw an opening. Once distracted I went behind him and wrapped him inside my arms, successfully body locking him.

"Calm down" my voice comes out softly hoping it would calm the creature a little.

"Don't touch me!"

"Onodera…"

"Let go—let me go! Stop touching me!"

The angel's not even mentally here.

Calm down Kou…think.

What to do to snap him back to reality. Back to me.

"Ono—" no "_Ritsu_" my fingers caress his face softly like I did this morning and is pleasantly surprised as I feel his body relax. "Calm down ok. You're ok. Everything's ok."

Breathing hard, he calls my name "Yukina you…"

"Yes Ritsu!" his hands slip up to my shoulders. I didn't think much of it until I went flying in the air into a shelf and got cursed at.

"You bastard!"

We didn't dare react once we saw the angry (and betrayed?) glare set in dark green eyes. We watch as he runs out into the night.

I guess I had known he would feel angry knowing I've dug into his past, something he looks desperate to run away from and escape. But I wanted to know though look what I've done.

"I'm horrible."

"Don't blame yourself."

"Cel?"

She hit Fuji on the head with the pipe, smoke coming out her ears. "It's this idiot's fault" she hits him again "Onodera's defensive mechanism activated! If it weren't for said idiot brother this whole thing would have gone smoother."

Point made.

"Stupid nii san" you just had to trigger some memories.

He rebels "Well how would you have reacted if you saw your lover half naked and a guy over him with a blood covered pipe at hand!?" he wasn't even over Kisa.

***smack***

"Ow!" thank you Cel.

***Smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack***

I don't have time for this. I have to apologize and make things right—

Looking over to the brothers my gut wenches.

Chihaya is crying in Kagetsuya's chest as the blonde strokes his hair.

"I am sorry" I tell them "Please don't leave. I'll talk to him and hopefully—"

"Don't stress yourself." Blue eyes narrow sternly. "Ritsu's stubborn, always has been, and seeing him after all these years….he's not even the same brother we know anymore. He wants us gone." like that they leave. Broken.

Something inside me breaks, snaps, as I watch them leave their behind. I understood why though. Anyone would get tired of being pushed away. So my anger was not towards them.

It was towards Onodera.

He pushes everyone away, strangers and family, doesn't matter, and all for what? So we can' get hurt? By what? How?

How when they're hurting anyways from rejection!

"Onodera, stop pushing people away!" I yelled as I throw open the gate to my house. Green eyes shimmer with defiance in the darkness around us. The only thing I see clearly.

He's standing on the steps of the house, suite cases at his sides.

"You're leaving?"

No response.

"OK I know I crossed a line but that doesn't mean you have to run away or push your family away! Onodera!"

Silence.

"Why won't you talk to me!" Can't you see you're stabbing my heart with no care in the world?

"Why?" his mocks "I should be the one asking that. Why did you help me? (I never asked!) Why are you always nice? (No one's that nice with no reason.) Why did you hunt down my family when I never told you jack about them? (I didn't tell you anything about me!) Why? What's your aim?! WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT?"

What? Aim?

"Or is this some game? Was it fun? Messing with me, making me feel safe, stringing me like a true puppeteer…"

***slap***

The sound of flesh meeting flesh rang out through the wind silencing all. My anger fueled but not as much as my heart ache to hear these things coming out of my love's mouth.

"Game? Fun? Stringing? What are you going on about?" I make him face me and look in my eyes. "I only did what I did because you don't open up. You spend every day avoiding everyone and pushing the ones who want to help you out of whatever hell you're in, away. Why?"

His body trembles but no tears leave its confines. The words that come out next though are of agony.

"I'm not worthy of them…I'm not their Ritsu they remember nor want to get to know. I'm trash. I can never be me again."

Trash?!

Who put these things into your head?

"Oh Ritsu" he flinches as I pull in a hug. His fever's back I note. "Kagetsuya told me only the things he observed. I don't know everything but from what I see you're not that different from how you were. You are not trash but treasure." You need someone to show you that.

Putting my chin on his hair and taking a breath full I continue. "You must think your heart is complete ice, and perhaps it has frosted over the years, but it never changed. Right now what you said, shows that underneath the frost you're still you. You're still that boy who just needs someone's guidness unfreezing your heart. You're not cold so just…be yourself and not this guy your trying to be. Ok?"

I couldn't tell if he was crying or not and I didn't chance to lift his face to see. I got the hint he didn't want me to see his tears.

His remaining dignity.

So with no more words I pick him up, covering his face in my broad chest, and take him inside to clean up and carry to bed.

I hold him that night.

Protecting him in my arms as he lets all pent up emotion free and not once do I let him go.

Not once…

* * *

"Karaoke?"

Fuji smiles brightly holding an equally smiling Kisa. "It'll be good for all of us, plus just think, it might lift his spirits after what happened last night."

"Uh…I don't…know."

"Come on! It'll be good for him besides you can think of this as a double date—oh hey Ritchan!"

Eep!

At the bottom of the stairs Ritsu stands with a blush on his face that scares me for a moment. I was going to punch my brother and tell him to stop saying date (don't get it wrong I would love date Ritsu but for Ritsu it might be uncomfortable if you know what I mean.)

It appears though Ritsu didn't hear the date part or choose to ignore it.

It was the name they called him that made him blush.

"R-Ritchan?!"

Laughing Kisa runs up and glomps him.

"Thank you for saving me yesterday!"

OMG!

The look on Ritsu's face—so cute!

He looks lost at what to do and bashful! Priceless.

He's different than yesterday…it's a bit but you can still notice the difference. Does this perhaps mean…I…got to him a little?

A smile tugs on the corner of my face.

It grows as my angel looks away spluttering for Kisa not to thank him and that even an idiot would have done what he did. Which is a lie.

He tries getting out of Kisa's clingy hug when they bring up Karaoke but what REALLY ices the cake is when the shorter out of all of us winks "It'll be great for a double date!"

At this very glorious moment we witness how a person turns into a tomato. An adorable tomato at that!

"E-excuse me?!"

"Or! Or!" they calm him "As an apology from Fuji for attacking you."

"Yeah!" said person tries joining the hug but was back away from. Far FAR away from. Looks like he lost all chance of trust from the brunet.

"Please Ritchan!"

"Don't call me 'Ritchan'." His defensive mechanism activates a bit.

"I want to thank you before I leave tomorrow—please!"

Pouted lips (unnoticed by their owners) twitches before sighing in resignation. "Fine only because there's nothing better to do but I want Fujiwara far away from me!"

"Eh?!" said Fuji whines "I said sowwy~!"

"Don't give a shit." He hides behind me as Onii chan once again tries giving him an apologetic hug. His wary of being touched by others will take time to break but I'm glad he seems to accepting of me since he's tugging the back of my shirt. He never did it before and for that I'm happy.

* * *

"Huh?" left mine and my Ritsu's lips as we got to the karaoke bar. Cel, Nowaki (along with his lover Kamijou), along with Chihaya and Kagetsuya were already there waiting for us. Without us knowing!

I can feel how the blood goes cold in the creature besides me. He looks as transparent as a ghost!

Eyes wide

Jaw dropped

Palms sweating

"Ritsu nii" flinching like he got slapped and maybe he did, with guilt.

We watch in hope as the two siblings approach their six years missing one.

"We were on our way leaving" Chihaya starts "But your colleges convinced us not to and invited us here." Finished, the oldest of them goes.

"We miss you Ritsu."

That is it.

The moment to rekindle your broken bond with your heaven.

To let them in instead of running away and hiding from them.

There's nowhere to hide, you don't have to no more Ritsu, please…don't blast this chance.

Seconds turns to minutes as the lost angel crumbles under the built up guilt and finally lets it shows. With all the strength left in his body, he lifts his crestfallen head and looks them, his once heaven, on in the eyes.

"I'm sorry…for pushing you both away." And the gate to home is reopened.

We all smile ever so softly watching the three angels basks in their reunion.

I can picture them as kids, playing around and laughing. The bond might have been powerful as children and it might take time to get that back but I have faith they'll get there.

_Because angels are made out of love and forgiveness no matter the sin._

* * *

**Sorry if i didn't get all your names on here. If i forgot please tell me ok!  
**


	11. Angel beats 1

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**i JUST NOTICED THE TITLE I GAVE THIS CHAP!**

**ANGEL BEATS~**

**Haah...what a sad but enjoyable anime.**

**Anyways~ NAMES!**

**DeathNoteLover235: Yes milady *flattens ears* Cries...**

**Guest: I still don't know what to call you so i will dub you _Twinkle _as in Sekai ichi Hatsukoi Mascot! Also...sinful~ Sinful: What kind of name is Fear? What's it stand for BEING AFRAID ALL THE TIME? Also I wouldn't want to date your dickless ass anyways *sticks tongue out* ME:...forgive her potty mouth. *sighs* The things my characters says. Anywho! I don't want to forget about cute little Asura! OF COURSE YOU CAN GET A HUG BECAUSE YOU'RE ARE SO GOSH DARN CUTE! *huggles* As for superpowers hm...I see Mino as a person with the power to control people's body like puppets and turn them inside out while getting more powerful by drinking their blood. *smiles* For the rest I will get back to you ok! **

**hiyokocchi: Thanks:3 Hope you like this one even though it's just a filler!**

**RENAlmochi: Lol thank you! **

**Pink frozen rose: Yeah i rub off on people sorry ^.^ But on a bad note~ Takano no here. He's coming don't worry but not now. Now is for fluffiness then angst! **

**Guest: Thanks! and yes ._. That will be a special thing for Ritsu and Yukina because Yukina will be Ritsu's panda XD**

**CiciGee1: Here you go!**

**xXDark15AngelXx: Yeah...youtube is always addicting to me lol!**

**For the rest here before I can't post anymore this week (on weekends yes lol)!**

**The song is called "I know what boys like" from_ the Waitresses._**

_Singing_

_**chorus of the music **_

**_Enjoy~_**

* * *

Dear god—why did I agree to come here again? If I had known all these people (hence my brothers) were going to be here I would have tucked my tail and scrammed back to guestroom!

I feel so crowded stuck here in this tiny room. Everyone is way too familiar with me, well excluding Nowaki san boyfriend Kamijou san. I'm guessing like me he wants to leave as well since he's glaring at everyone including myself. Sorry?

But I am thankful to him for that.

Man…I wish I remembered how I dealt with crowds back then. How will I ever get use to this again?

"OK everybody!" The cause for me coming here (damn Kisa) skips on the small stage in the center of the room. "Sit down because I'm gonna start first got it!"

A roar of "Yeah Kisa san!" and "Go for it!" erupts and I cover my ears to prevent them from bleeding from the loudness. This is too much for my ears…sorry ears.

I want to leave.

Maybe I can leave if I act sick?

Suddenly a hand takes mine and squeezes it making me nearly have a heart attack from the sudden contact. I sighed when it turned out to be Yukina that took my hand.

"Don't worry; you'll get use to them in time. No need to feel uneasy though this room is claustrophobic." A reassuring smile brightens his features, going brighter at my clear 'how you know I was thinking that' face.

No matter how much I try to reject my insides can't refuse and calm down by his smile as I look down at his hand holding onto my limp one.

I feel weird…

Holding hands

Do I squeeze his hand back?

Do I pull away?

I want to pull away and back away as far as possible from this giant panda who can hurt me at any given moment. He makes me feel nauseas but…but I don't want to leave his warmth strangely. I don't want to go back to being frozen and constantly cold like a walking corpse.

**I've missed this warmth. **

If I squeeze this hand back tightly and open up to Yukina, can—can I be able to achieve the warmth I lost those many years ago? Can I…will I ever learn to l—

"Here I go!" spinning on stage, my thoughts get lost as music blasts through the speakers band bounces off the walls.

Clutching the microphone to his pink lips, Kisa begins to sing.

_"I know what boys like  
I know what guys want  
I know what boys like  
I've got what boys like_

_I know what boys like_  
_I know what guys want_  
_I see them looking_

_I make them want me_  
_I like to tease them_  
_They want to touch me_  
_I never let them_

_I know what boys like_  
_I know what guys want_  
_I know what boys like, boys_  
_like, boys like me"_

Is anyone else questioning this guy or am I the only friggin one?!

We watch as the man I'm questioning secretly (because no one knows) walks off stage and begins to literally dance in front of Fujiwara san. The way he's dancing though…am I the only one blushing and ready to say "fuck this shit" and run out the room?

Honestly.

_"But you, you're special_

_**I might let you**  
You're so much different  
**I might let you**  
Mmmmm would you like that  
**I might let you**"_

Let you what?!

You're already giving your man a friggin lap dance with us looking!

_"I know what boys like_  
_I know what guys want_  
_I know what boys like_  
_I know what's on their minds_

_I know what boy like_  
_I know what guys want_  
_They talk about me"_

I bet they do seeing as how Fujiwara is butter right now.

Please kill me now god.

_"I got my cat moves_  
_That so upset them_  
_Zippers and buttons_  
_Fun to frustrate them_  
_They get so angry_  
_Like pouty children_  
_Denied their candy_  
_I laugh right at them_

_I know what buys like_  
_I know what guys want_  
_I know what boys like,_  
_boys like, boys like me_  
_Na, na, nya, nya, nya, nya..."_

Rubbing his chest on Fujiwara's chest, Kisa continues singing while kissing his lover's face all over and grinding against him. Ever heard of DECENCY?

I want to leave please! Just want to run and scream "MY EYES ARE BURNING OUT OF MY SOCKET!"

But I don't.

Why?

Yukina still has my hand.

Can I cry?

_"I feel sad now_

_**I will let you**  
Sorry I teased you  
**I will let you**  
This time I mean it  
**I will let you**  
Anything you want  
**You can trust me**  
I really want to  
**You can trust me**  
How would you like it  
**You can trust me**"_

Next he goes in for a deep passionate kiss but before their lips can touch Kisa sings…

_"Sucker. Hmmmmm..."_

And he retreats back onto the stage purposely leaving his lover too hang with an obvious boner. Huh. I have no idea if I should feel some sort of sorry for the blonde.

Nah.

Karma a bitch no?

_"I know what boys like_  
_I know what guys want_  
_I know what boys like, boys_  
_like, boys like me_

_Gny, nya, gna nyah nya..."_

Well…that scarred me for life and years to come.

"Who's next!" The now I'm assuming ex-stripper cheers as he jumps back into Fujiwara's lap and bites his ear again.

If they begin making out I am leaving and never leaving the house again.

I swear!

Jumping on the stage next, the only female here cheers "My turn!" Cel…I'm sort of afraid of what she'll sing…

* * *

**So this will be going on for a while.  
**

**1 song for each character! **

**And if you want you can find this song on youtube, the original or the Glee version. **

**I like the Glee version better lol.**

**til next time~**


	12. Angel beats 2

**Cel~ **

**Enjoy~**

* * *

She began dancing as the music started; head bobbing as she put the microphone to her lips.

And then…she's a screamo type gal.

_Ghost in the mirror.  
Just look beyond, the balanced reflection._

So tell me dear, can your heart still break,  
If it's already stopped beating?

_[x2]_

…..this song…_  
_

_Never take your pulse for granted again,  
she doesn't know, she doesn't know the kiss of death._

Black is black and love is, love is death.  
Black cats, black hearts, the wicked never rest.  
I curse the day I let you in.

I heard this song once before and thought how perfect it reflected my feelings on the inside when thinking about Takano and all he's done to me.

So tell me dear, can your heart still break,  
If it's already stopped beating?

_[x2]_

I'm positive this is about Cel not me. When we first met she told me about her childhood.

Every day is a funeral.  
I'm not afraid of being alone, I'm just afraid of being vulnerable.

She told me about how her little brother was killed and her father abusing her older brother but her older brother would take it out on her and be abusive to her.

Ghost in the mirror.

_[x4]_

I curse the day that I let you in.

Before they broke apart to never see each other again, her older brother stabbed her in her eye thus the reason why she has two different color eyes now.

So tell me dear, can your heart still break,  
If it's already stopped beating?

_[x2]_

She also told me about a teacher she had that was a mother figure to her. When that teacher died Cel said so did she.

Never take your pulse for granted again,  
she doesn't know, she doesn't know the kiss of death.

Black is black and love is, love is death.  
Black cats, black hearts, the wicked never rest.  
I curse the day that I let you in.

Turns out it was her older brother's doing. He was just like Takano was to me…a demon.

Did she tell me all that because she hunched the truth?

_This is horror,  
This is sin,  
We are evil,  
We are death.  
__[x2]_

But her story's different.

Her Takano died, mine is alive still and walking among the living.

Her nightmare ended, I'm still trying to escape mine.

This song represents her but look at her now. She's able to throw those memories out the window and embrace her life now the way she wants to.

She's liberated

I'm chained

It's envious how she doesn't have to live in fear anymore.

Could I learn as well?

* * *

**Next time~  
**

**REVIEWING BEFORE MY SCHOOL TAKES OVER MY LIFE AND I FADE AWAY INTO NOTHINGNESS!**


	13. Angel beats 3

The night doesn't seem to end after Cel nearly deafening us all with her screaming. And so a new singer rises…Fujiwara.

_You say we're both little people and you like it that way  
But in time I'm gonna put this body to shame (and grow old)  
Wear a suit like my old man  
Pack up all my things and get my ass out of town_

Up there singing, burgundy brown eyes stare intently at Kisa san. I think I can remember a time I use to be able to make a certain face like that. Not wanting to part with loved ones or having a loved leave me.

_We've got it good_  
_Whether you like this town or not_  
_I know it's small but with a big head_  
_it's bound to get hot_  
_In the summer_  
_But the summer is a bummer_  
_If you can't leave_  
_This pathetic excuse for a town_

He swoons lightly side to side keeping to the beat of the music. Passion floats around him pouring out from every pore of his body as he sings on to his little older lover.

_That holds all your memories_  
_A lifetime of crushes and your broken dreams_  
_To be anywhere but here_  
_But baby anywhere is away from me_

_If you got it all figured out_  
_Then what is there to shout about_  
_This Midwest town is gonna miss you_  
_Just go ahead and work it out_  
_But first come on and let it out_  
_Scream and shout and tell everybody that you're gonna leave_

For a split second an image of Takano san came to mind at this part of the song. How he dragged me away from my life, my loved one, me! How I let him do such a thing! The times I've tried leaving before. He would be more violent than usual but other times…he knew how to get to me. When threats and bruises would not work he broke down crying, begging not to get abandoned, nor to get left behind.

_In about one year you'll have it all figured out_  
_These big city dream are what you're about_  
_Walking like strangers among these states_  
_Only time will tell how long I can wait_

What a devious devil and I a stupid idiot who continued to fall for the same old trick.

I am so weak.

_We've got it good_  
_Whether you like this town or not_  
_I know it's small but with a big head_  
_it's bound to get hot_  
_In the summer_  
_But the summer is a bummer_  
_If you can't leave_  
_This pathetic excuse for a town_

_That holds all your memories_  
_A lifetime of crushes and your broken dreams_  
_To be anywhere but here_  
_But baby anywhere is away from me_

Away from him is what I wanted. To walk away and forget everything.

Not move on because then what is the point of that?

I want to get rid of the memories with Takano, start anew, and get back to ruling myself and not being ruled.

_If you got it all figured out_  
_Then what is there to shout about_  
_This Midwest town is gonna miss you_  
_Just go ahead and work it out_  
_But first come on and let it out_  
_Scream it shout tell everybody that you're gonna leave_

_Me again oh so casually_  
_Did you take the hit for me or the home team_

_If you got it all figured out_  
_Then what is there to shout about_  
_This Midwest town is gonna miss you_

"You wanna go Ritsu" my heart leaped in fear by the sudden interruption of my musing. Looking Fujiwara up from my seat I shake my head a little. "Ok then."

I sigh as he passes the microphone to Nowaki san then goes to sit with his uke. They cuddle and I hear their sighs of contentment. Euphoria laminates around them as they hold onto each other, seeking more of each other's warmth.

The sight is so foreign to me.

So…unreal.

Do couples really…do…that?

What about the other stuff I see them do?

Speak sweet nothings

Hand holding

Snuggling

Laughing

Dates

…is that what couples really do?

I look back down at Yukina's hand still latched onto mine.

My stomach churn violently as I ponder these questions on the inside, allowing them to contort my intestines into knots.

Couples…what exactly is a couple?

Were me and Takano ever considered to be a 'couple'?

Couples…


	14. Angel beats 4

_Hey baby won't you look my way?  
I can be your new addiction  
Hey baby what you gotta say?  
All you're giving me is fiction_

_I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time_  
_I found out that everybody talks_  
_Everybody talks, everybody talks_

_It started with a whisper_  
_And that was when I kissed her_  
_And then she made my lips hurt_  
_I can't even chitchat_  
_Take me to your love shack_  
_Mamas always gotta backtrack_  
_When everybody talks back_

_Hey honey you could be my drug_  
_You could be my new prescription_  
_Too much could be an overdose_  
_All this trash talk make me itching_

_Oh my my shit_  
_Everybody talks, everybody talks_  
_Everybody talks too much_

_It started with a whisper_  
_And that was when I kissed her_  
_And then she made my lips hurt_  
_I can't even chitchat_  
_Take me to your love shack_  
_Mamas always gotta backtrack_  
_When everybody talks back_

_Never thought I'd live to see the day_  
_When everybody's words got in the way_

_Hey sugar show me all your love_  
_All you're giving me is friction_  
_Hey sugar what you gotta say?_

_It started with a whisper_  
_And that was when I kissed her_  
_And then she made my lips hurt_  
_I can't even chitchat_  
_Take me to your love shack_  
_Mamas always gotta backtrack_  
_When everybody talks back_

_Everybody talks_  
_Everybody talks_  
_Everybody talks_  
_Everybody talks_  
_Everybody talks_  
_Everybody talks... back_

_It started with a whisper (everybody talks, everybody talks)_  
_And that was when I kissed her (everybody talks, everybody talks)_

_Everybody talks_  
_Everybody talks... back_

Oh my…poor Kamijou san.

Beat red and highly embarrassed by his lover's (my bad HUSBAND's, just saw the rings) song. Though I got to admit…Nowaki san sucks at dancing.

Meh.

So do I.

Fuming, Kamijou san curses his husband out which makes me chuckle a bit but when I see the cinnamon brunet hit his lover with a book (that came out of nowhere!?) My mind blackened as my hand tightens into fist around Yukina's own hand.

Why are you laughing Nowaki san?

I yelled on the inside.

He hit you!

He hurt you!

How can you laugh at his abuse to you?

How?

"Awe Hiro san. There's no need to get embarrassed love."

Embarrassed?!

Another smack.

"SHUT UP YOU BRAT!" he hides in on himself. "W-why must you be so..so…CHEESY?!"

Before the ravenette can say anything more, Cel plops down between them and thrust Kamijou san out of his seat and onto the stage.

"Sing you tight ass!" she laughs throwing the microphone at him and starting the next song, leaving the grumpy man neither room nor time to oppose.

Growling out, he barks "YOU ARE ALL BRATS!"


	15. Angel beats 5

_Are you worth your weight in gold?  
Cause you're behind my eyelids when I'm all alone  
Hey, stranger, I want you to catch me like a cold.  
You and god both got the guns, when you shoot I think I'd duck._

_I led the revolution in my bedroom and I set all the zippers free._  
_We said, "No more war, no more clothes!_  
_Give me peace._  
_Oh kiss me!"_

_Hey! Hey! We are a hurricane!_  
_Drop our anchors in a storm._  
_Hey! They will never be the same,_  
_A fire in a flask to keep us warm._  
_Cause they know, I know_  
_That they don't look like me._  
_Oh, they know, I know_  
_That they don't sound like me._

_You'll dance to anything!_  
_You'll dance to anything!_

_Oh I'd confess, I'd confess, in a room where I'm blessed._  
_But he didn't come and speak to me,_  
_Or put my heart at ease._  
_And I believe that half the time_  
_I am a wolf among the sheep_  
_Gnawing at the wool over my eyes._

_I led the revolution in my bedroom and I set all the zippers free._  
_We said, "No more war, no more clothes!_  
_Give me peace._  
_Oh kiss me!"_

_Hey! Hey! We are a hurricane!_  
_Drop our anchors in a storm._  
_Hey! They will never be the same,_  
_A fire in a flask to keep us warm._  
_Cause they know, I know_  
_That they don't look like me._  
_Oh, they know, I know_  
_That they don't sound like me._

_You'll dance to anything!_  
_You'll dance to anything!_  
_You'll dance to anything!_  
_You'll dance to anything!_

_Fix me, or conflict me._  
_I'll take anything._  
_Fix me, or just conflict me._  
_Cause I'll take anything._

_Hey! Hey! We are a hurricane!_  
_Drop our anchors in a storm._  
_Hey! They will never be the same,_  
_A fire in a flask to keep us warm._  
_Cause they know, I know_  
_That they don't look like me._  
_Oh, they know, I know_  
_That they don't sound like me._

_You'll dance to anything!_  
_You'll dance to anything!_

…..AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

I bite my tongue not to let that laughing out.

The man just looks so funny!

He all angry looking and stiff, the song does not suit him one bit.

What a sight!

"There happy?" he grumbles as he rushes outside beat red and trying to hold onto as much pride as he still can.

Yup

Poor Kamijou san.


	16. Angel beats 6

And so my turn finally comes up.

Releasing Ritsu's delicate hand, I immediately miss the feel of his skin against my own. I step up to the stage, up to the microphone just waiting for me.

Breathing evenly I take hold of the small object that volumes voices loud for crowds to hear.

I suck at singing…really badly I swear.

So I'm scared at how Ritsu will think of my singing as I sing to him (though he won't know it) a song I personally feel is perfect for us.

Well here goes everything.

Time to make a fool of myself.

Although I will gladly do any day if it's for Ritsu.

_Despite the lies that you're making  
Your love is mine for the taking  
My love is  
Just waiting  
To turn your tears to roses_

_Despite the lies that you're making_  
_Your love is mine for the taking_  
_My love is_  
_Just waiting_  
_To turn your tears to roses_

_I will be the one that's gonna hold you_  
_I will be the one that you run to_  
_My love is_  
_A burning, consuming fire_

I felt the way Ritsu reacted when we witnessed Kamijou and Nowaki's usual interactions with one another. The tightening grip on my hand told me how uncomfortable; outraged he was, though he hid it well.

And once again I found myself trying to figure out more of the puzzle of his life. I pieced the facts I do know together but the conclusion I don't want to be right in. I don't want to believe someone like my Ritsu (even though we're not dating) was…I can't even finish it._[Chorus:]__  
No  
You'll never be alone  
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars  
Hear the whispers in the dark  
No  
You'll never be alone  
When darkness comes you know I'm never far  
Hear the whispers in the dark  
Whispers in the dark_

_You feel so lonely and ragged_  
_You lay here broken and naked_  
_My love is_  
_Just waiting_  
_To clothe you in crimson roses_

Oh I want to fix your life Ritsu. I really do and perhaps you would let me one day. We already established some sort of friendship but we're still so very much like strangers.

Will you ever let me pick you up and rewash your memories with new ones? Ones that are pure and filled with happiness.

_I will be the one that's gonna find you_  
_I will be the one that's gonna guide you_  
_My love is_  
_A burning, consuming fire_

_[Chorus x2]_

_Whispers in the dark_

_[x3]_

I want to be your guarding angel.

Lead you back to that place in the sky.

I want so much to help you but I'm also selfish.

I want your love Ritsu.

I notice how your eyes go distant at times, recommencing about the things that keep you running from darkness. I want you to look at me, see me, I want to have your heart and take it away from that man whoever he is if it means you'll be able to move on and fall in love with me.

Please...can't I dry your tears permanently?


	17. Angel beats 7

Chihaya goes on after me.

Going back to my place by my beautiful creature of a man, I don't notice the look he's giving me. The embarrassment from my singing drives me to look away from him blushing a bit.

Despite that, I take his hand once more, and sigh when he doesn't push me away.

He does tense when Chihaya calls his name. "Ritsu, this song is for you…brother."

_Step one – you say, "We need to talk."  
He walks, you say, "Sit down. It's just a talk."  
He smiles politely back at you  
you stare politely right on through  
some sort of window to your right  
as he goes left and you stay right  
between the lines of fear and blame  
and you begin to wonder why you came_

Ritsu gulps, knowing that song hit a sore spot between the once close brothers. Even Kagetsuya tenses up.

_where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_  
_Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

Tears pours from amethyst eyes, cascading down porcelain looking cheeks as they stare into wavering green ones. They want to look away, turn away and hide but can't. They are glued to each other. Both overflowing with regret.

_Let him know that you know best_  
_'Cause after all you do know best_  
_Try to slip past his defense_  
_Without granting innocence_  
_Lay down a list of what is wrong_  
_The things you've told him all along_  
_Pray to God, he hears you_  
_And I pray to God, he hears you_

Ritsu holds in his tears, trying his dammest not to break down in front of all us. It becomes harder once Kagetsuya gets up on stage and joins their brother in the song.

_And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_  
_Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

They blame themselves with how Ritsu changed. They saw the signs but did nothing. It's not their fault though. They couldn't have done anything.

Ritsu knows it too with the guilt in his eyes.

_As he begins to raise his voice_  
_You lower yours and grant him one last choice_  
_Drive until you lose the road_  
_Or break with the ones you've followed_  
_He will do one of two things_  
_He will admit to everything_  
_Or he'll say he's just not the same_  
_And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

Wanting forgiveness leaks into the older and middle brother's eyes, the fight they had years ago must be still fresh in their minds.

Chihaya closes his still tearing eyes, singing with so much emotion that no one dares breaks it.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_  
_Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_  
_Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

_How to save a life_

_How to save a life_

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_  
_Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_  
_Somewhere along in the bitterness_  
_And I would have stayed up with you all night_  
_Had I known how to save a life_  
_How to save a life_

_How to save a life_

"Now it's your turn Ritsu nii."

They get off the stage and hold out the little device for Ritsu to take.

Slowly, unsteadily, he reaches out, pulls back a bit, then goes forward and take it from his brother's grasp.

His legs are wobbly as he makes his way up in front of us.

Putting the microphone to his soft looking lips, Ritsu refuses to meet our gazes as the music starts. He closes his eyes and dips his head down so his fringe can hide him from the world.


	18. Angel beats 8

**yeah Ritsu finally! **

**I hoped you enjoyed the last chapters because originally my mind and body was so tired and fried from this WHOLE week that I was just going to cry myself to sleep once i got home but then I saw some lovely reviews from you guys for a lot of my stories so I was all "OH! Now i MUST get off my butt and type for meh lovely friends!" So my melt down will wait until Sunday people:D**

* * *

Drawing a deep lung full of breathe, he begins.

_I am not alone  
I live with the memories, regret is my home  
This is my true freedom  
Express all the feelings of what I've become  
I watch the rising sun_

_I hope I find some peace today_  
_It seems I've gone away_  
_It seems I've lost myself_  
_It seems I've really lost my way_  
_It seems I've lost myself_  
_It seems I've_  
_Shed my skin_

His voice booms over us sending chills down the spine at the last part of that verse. But it's not just the voice that sends these sensations throughout our bodies.

It's the lyrics that go with it.

It's like Cel and them had picked the perfect song of his life and I have a feeling he knows it as well. Why else would he out so much feeling into the song?

_Are you ready for me_  
_Or purge my love_  
_Are you ready for me?_  
_A bitter sinking feeling_

_Awake to the fact there's no going back_  
_To this world in which I was living_  
_I'm searching for something but found less than nothing_  
_I watch the rising sun_

_I hope I find some peace today_  
_It seems I've gone away_  
_It seems I've lost myself_  
_It seems I've really lost my way_  
_It seems I've lost myself_  
_It seems I've_  
_Shed my skin_

His knuckles holds the microphone as if he didn't he'll fall into some dark ocean and drown with no way of resurfacing.

_Are you ready for me_  
_Or purge my love_  
_Are you ready for me_  
_Oh 'cause I'm dying to feel_  
_What I have lost_

_Oh and what I was_  
_All my life I've waited_  
_Endless days have taken_  
_Taken what made me free_  
_Years have gone_  
_I'm broken_

_Left the past unspoken_  
_Those years_  
_Oh they haunt me still_  
_Shed my skin_  
_Are you ready for me_  
_Or purge my love_  
_Are you ready for me_  
_And shed my skin_  
_All my love I'm waited_  
_Endless days have taken_  
_What made me free_

_Years have gone. I'm broken_  
_Left the past unspoken_  
_Those years, they haunt me still_

We say nothing.

What can we say honestly?

Shaking slightly Ritsu drops the microphone to the ground.

"I don't feel well" his voice is so small, barley a whisper and as quietly as he said that, he left out the karaoke room, taking his burden, what's left of his secrets with him.

That night and the next day he doesn't say anything or socialize with any of us.

* * *

**So please tell me how these chapters were because honestly i know they are not as long as i would have liked to make them but as i said before this whole week has been nothing but tiring. Body, mind, and soul.  
**

**I have dubbed this week my own personal HELL WEEK. -_-**

**I will do better don't worry.**

**NO HALF ASSING I SWEAR!**

**Because the next chapter is the one you have all been waiting so patiently for! **

**Can you guess?**

**I think you can;) **

**Names shall be put in the next chapter i promise!**


	19. his angel

**moonless nightlock**

**DeathNoteLover235**

**BashyBunny**

**BLUE SNOW**

**pink frozen rose**

**RENAlmochi**

**xXDark15AngelXx**

**nightmare1818**

**MadCakeW**

**Thank you all for liking and reviewing and waiting so very patiently for this chapter!  
As for some of you who kept asking why i wanted to cry this week...melt down really gets to me sorry:l  
It's like that when a whole bunch of stuff gets thrown at me at once. **

**Anyways~ **

**ENJOY!**

* * *

_**Takano's pov**_

**The month previous:**

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, YOU FUCKING SLUT!?"

I panted punching another hole in the wall. I got home hours ago to find my SUPPOSED to be chained bird gone.

Flown away

Without my consent!

After more hours of tearing (literally) the place up and searching the streets, it all sunk in.

He left me.

My property upped and left me and he was planning on never coming back.

No!

My fist bled as it went in the wall again. It stung and I knew my hand would need some sort of medical attention but I did not care at the moment. The anger was clouding my senses making me want to strangle anyone, no, someone.

He couldn't have left, I screamed.

He would never do that to me, not me!

I broke him so he couldn't.

Tore his wings to make sure.

Ritsu Ritsu Ritsu Ritsu Ritsu Ritsu Ritsu Ritsu Ritsu

Tch!

"ONODERA RITSU!"

* * *

**Four days previous from the present:**

Still no pet, my Ritsu.

I can feel the continuous anger building threatening to make my entire body split wide with the pressure of the hatred swarming in my core.

My teeth grinds together in hopes of alleviating it as the oldest of my employees come up to me handling in his manuscript.

"T-Takano san" tentatively he bows and I can see the tremble he's trying to keep in under my glare.

"What" he flinched by the growl but stands ground.

"My work is finished for the weekend so I will be going now, I'll be back on Tuesday."

"Don't fucking care" I wish I could scream. Let my frustration out and vent anything and everything!

Once Kisa walked away unexpecting, I pick up my stapler and throw it at his head. Even his cries of pain don't satisfy me.

Only Ritsu's can.

His screams were the best and the way he looked all beaten and broken…so beautiful covered in blood. With his crimson soaked hair fanned his face making it look like he has a blooded halo.

Just beautiful how the bruises would make his ethereal flesh popped so much more.

I can remember still clearly when I first laid my eyes on such a creature even before he laid eyes on me. Soft features with bright doe eyes that refused to see the filth of the world.

He was an angel and I, the devil.

Such innocent, innocence I wanted.

It was extremely easy making him fall from grace.

Act alone with no one in the world, smile at the creature, and compose a heart shattering story for the sucker. So easy.

The game was just too easy.

He fell willing to my facade of 'passionate' kisses which turned lustful seconds later.

Caresses turned into welts.

Kisses into bites.

Moans into screams as blood dripped down soft thighs with every thrust and then…such innocence can never return to its heaven but he was still an angel meaning he would always be innocent either way.

It was his nature to always have wings to fly away from me. leave me and go somewhere else to claim as his heaven.

Oh no no no!

I couldn't have that.

Not then and certainly not now.

I have to hurry.

I must find my angel and break his whole being this time so he can never fly away from my side again. Never ever again.

You hear me my pet?

I am going to find you.

I'm going to find you and take you back where you belong. By me.

You'll never leave again.

I will make damn sure of that and drag you to the depths of hell with me as I promised in college. Do you remember that vow?

Did you think I was not serious?

Well here's a news flash, I'm as serious as my love for you and I am going to fulfill that promise I made. Just you wait.

* * *

**Present:**

The chime of my phone bounces off the walls of the apartment which has gone to shit without Ritsu. It's late and I'm going insane without my slut here for a whole friggin month and one week.

Whoever the caller is, I am going to kill.

It had better not be that girl I banged at work again. She's such a becoming stalker.

"Who is this?" my teeth grinds together as music along with clapping replied back hurting my already splitting headache.

Kisa the dumb idiot butt dialed me…?

I listened closer when I heard the voice singing through the phone and a teary voice say "Ritchan."

Ritchan.

My stomach knotted at haven't heard that name since I first saw my angel. Before he even realized I knew exactly who he was before he got into high school.

Before I set everything up to get him to fall on his knees for me.

Could it be?

A mouth breaking smile lights up my face.

That was him.

My Ritsu.

I know where you are now love; now I just need to find where the place is.

I go to the calendar on the fridge.

Today's Monday which means Kisa's coming back tomorrow.

Oh~

I'm so looking forward to his return.


	20. The angel behind the barriers

**JUST TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW~ I AM OBSESSED WITH ELLEN HOPKINS:D**

**AND POCKY!**

**MMMMMM POCKY~**

**POVS-**

**1; Ritsu (for both parts in the beginning)  
2;Yukina!  
3; Ritsu!4; Yukina!  
**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

_"Can a dream be wrong? Aren't dreams God's way of telling you things?" _  
― Ellen Hopkins

* * *

What to do when all you feel like is a rag doll to society?  
You escape one man only to face tumble into another one.

The difference?

You're too fucked up to give the second one even a glance because he's just like the first but different all in one.

I'm scared of both.  
How they're able to pull me in at their own pace.

I hate them.  
I hate him.

I hate the way he makes my heart flutter like a feather and blush dust my cheeks with not so much as a stupid smile. I hate the way my hand shot out to the hem of your shirt for protection; warmth. I hate the fact that I don't want him to go. I hate that he's so kind and gentle with everyone. I hate myself for not pushing him away whenever a kiss is stolen or gentle calloused hands wrap around my waist or caress my cheeks. I hate it all.

I hate him, them, me.

I hate you for making me feel these things.

* * *

_Shudders quake my body as your large soft hands trace the outline of me leaving a trail of fire where they touch. They stop at my lower back and I can't move, can't fight as they pull me towards a broad toned chest._

_A wanton moan forms as your damn hands gently lifts my thighs with ease and wrap them around your hips. You rub my legs as if they are made of the softest of silk._

_Bringing me closer your breath tickles the nape of my neck._

_"Ritsu" _

_The sound is unlike anything I've ever heard before in my life, a soft Celtic music unheard of by man, from a nymph in a forest in a faraway land. A siren I must follow, making me look up into your face and unable to look away. _

_Slowly, very slowly our faces inch closer until we feel our breath mingle, and then…then—_

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!

Why the fuck would I dream that?! Something so uncharacteristically lewd and like a bloody wanton slut!

God!

Just how fucked up has spending time with Yukina made me?

What is it about him that is growing on me?

Growling at the thought I shove my heated face into the pillow cursing at the world for this morning and dream.

Stupid dream!  
Stupid Yukina!  
Stupid boner!

Boner?!

I peek down underneath the covers and my pants praying that I am wrong but groan in anguish.

Stupid stupid stupid stup— "Ritsu."

I squeak praying the idiot chooses today to be considerate and not come in while kicking myself mentally for failing AGAIN to lock the door.

I duck in the security of the covers in the nick of time as the door creaked open.

* * *

"Hey Ritsu" I call again as I make my way to the ball huddled under the blankets that hasn't left this room in two days since the karaoke.

The blankets flinched before settling again.

I chuckle softy at his obvious failer to not peek out from under the covers as I sat myself on the bed besides his form. "Are you hungry?" I ask carefully pulling him covers and all into my welcoming arms and between my longer legs like a child.

I was relieved greatly seeing as he wasn't as hostile.

To me at least seeing as I can touch him and hug him freely more than the others can. It makes me feel special, closer to my angel, trusted even. But looking down I frown seeing my lovely brunet's face crossed and red.

"Ritsu what's wrong?"

"Huh?" he blinks turning redder when he finally takes notice of me hold him. "W-why are you holding me? I'm not a child!" glaring but it's not cold as it's intended.

I can see the once solid ice in those breathtaking eyes thawing. There's no conviction in him that says "leave me alone." because I can tell that's not what he wants.

Even his halfhearted shove proves that I'm right and pull him closer until his head is tucked under my chin and his face in my chest snugly. He fits perfectly.

"What—"

"Will you ever tell me about your past Ritsu?" that wasn't supposed to come out. I sweat drop feeling him stiffen under me and retort a bit sharply.

"Why? What's it to you? You already found out lots without my consent." He moves a bit to leave but I don't let him. Not now or ever.

His words at the beginning goes on repeat in my brain like hamster running on a spinning wheel. What's it to me.

You will find out Ritsu.

My pulse heightens as I cup his baby soft face in my hands as soft as I can. I caress his cheeks with my thumbs while inching our faces together until our noses touch. Then finally like a soft snowflake our lips meet.

We stay that way.  
Me watching him watching me in shock.

I keep the innocent kiss chaste but put all my pure emotions into it. I was always one to wear my heart on my sleeve.

The doe eyed angel doesn't back away, reject the kiss, but he also doesn't respond either. When I pull away he's trembling slightly.

I kiss his forehead letting my lips linger there and inhale his unique scent before answering his remark. "Because I love you that's why."

* * *

Oh god he kissed me.  
It reminded me of the past but it never went beyond innocent to pure evil.

I don't know what to feel or think or trust anymore as the kiss ended. I fought hard not to moan in disappointment and choose instead to sigh quietly as he kissed my head. Butterflies expanded their wings from inside my stomach that I started panicking.

The urge to push, shove, him away pounded away at my senses but another damn part of my fucked up persona doesn't shove him away.

It wants more of Yukina's warmth to overheat me. Merge with me. I want to pull him closer and tell him to take care of what he's done to me.

Touch me more.  
Caress me until I'm raw.  
Kiss me until I can't breathe.

It scared me how mad I am feeling with desire.  
It frightens me how I WANT to obey Yukina and tell him everything and all things about myself instead of shrinking away in the dark.

The little 'problem' I woke up with was becoming too much to fight back as Yukina's gaze undressed me. I was drowning from his stare so when he opens his mouth to speak again I wanted to scream 'stop! No more!' Because on the inside I know I'll give in if he asks me to bare myself once more.

"Please tell me Ritsu. I want to know." The last of my walls crumble and it's all Yukina's fault as he kisses me again.

* * *

I'm pushing him until the walls give and crumble to my feet allowing me access to him. It's wrong I know but inside those damn walls is an angel that needs to see light again.

He needs to see that not everyone wants to hurt him but love him.

It's a crack but it's widens, becoming bigger then finally giving in as he can do nothing more than nod shakily as I pull him down on me to the bed.

His silky skin grows hot to my touch.

I wait as his tremor subsides and relaxes before he starts talking. "I use to be like you" Refusing to meet my gaze "Believing in melting a person's heart and love but they are all lies. I don't know any more if love exist. Unlike you I learned the coldness of a person can eat you alive and freeze you to the core. It's poison."

"No" I press him closer giving him all my warmth to keep him from as he says freezing. "If that's so then I'm glad I found you in time." Who knows what would happen if we never met on that train.

Stroking soft auburn hair that smells so intoxicating I smile hopefully. "Look you don't have to tell me anything for now or at all if it's too painful. But I'll be here by your side to listen or hold you if only" delicate hands squeeze my shirt "You let me love you from here on out and warm your cold heart. Let me be the cure to that poison you speak of."

After that I swoop down for another kiss knowing the barriers are completely down turned to dust and blown away by the wind. And as the scared creature I see inside blushing and gazing at me…he's beautiful.

* * *

**Awe don't you just love friggin cheesy chapterXD**

**As for the boner…I leave the imagination to you all (/O3O)/**

**NEXT CHAPTER!**

**FUN TIMES AT THE AMUSEMENT PARK!  
Oh~ but is everyone in here going to hate me later on;) **


	21. angel dates!

**ANGEL DATES PEPS!**

**POVS~**

**1; Cel (miss her people? NO? *drops head* ok then...)  
2; Yukina (MORE CHEESE FOR THIS CHEESY CHAPTER!)  
3; Ritsu (He gets fun in this chapter people! Then...shit hits the fan O.O) **

**ENJOY~ Ah don't you just love when pocky inspires you to write more than you would in a day because this is not it!**

* * *

Giggling so much I fall from the tree I'm sitting on. It doesn't hurt thank god since I'm like a fucking cat with the way I quickly land on my feet!

But that's not the point!

So you FINALLY confessed Kou chan!  
Good for you~

Hope the idiot starts out slow with the poor bug. I'll kill him myself if he rushes things but—they do make a cute couple and with some coaxing from the giant idiot maybe Ritsu can be what he once was.

The song he sang at the karaoke place plays throughout my head.  
Such a sorrowful song.

From out the distance I see Fuji coming back from grieving AGAIN. The damn idiot always grieves the day after his 'honey' leaves back home and then gets clingy. Idiot.

How could he handle a long-distance relationship?  
I will never know.

"Cel!" Oh boy!

The wind gets kicked out of me as Fuji squeezes my much smaller body as he lifts me off the ground crying. "Why did Kisa have to go back Cel? WHY?!"

Need…to…breathe!

Kicking him away I gulp deep lungs full of sweet fresh air. My face is full of his friggin wet tears and snot. YUCK!

"Because he has, I don't know, a JOB!" as the words left my mouth a sudden deathly chill strikes down my body hurting my side.

What the hell was that?  
Weird.

"Cel listen to me!"

A bad omen.  
Very bad omen.

"Cel~ I need comforting!"

Why do I get the feeling that I should keep my eyes on these soon to be lovers in the house?

"By the way Cel; where's my little brother?" absentmindedly I point to the window.

"With Ritsu."

"Awe! They're finally being one!"

*Whack*

"Owe Cel?!"

"They're going to start out slow you doof!" I hit him again "They're not like you and Kisa who fucked and then fell in love pervert!"

Hiding behind the tree, Kou chan's older brother quivers rubbing his head. "Ok OK! Geez sorry!" despite the tone a smile spreads on his face. "I'm just happy. Kou has never been in love before and I was beginning to believe he never would until now."

….ok then.

"I know! We should make them go on a date!"

Hmm…that's doesn't sound like a bad idea actually.

"How?" we think and think and think and—ding! "Perfect."

This is awkward and funny but sad all in one if I look at it now.

Ritsu's brothers came to Kyoto again with two kids this time and somehow they ended up coming with us here.

Walking through the gates of the amusement park entrance Kagetsuya glares hard icicles at Kou chan all through the way never once stopping.

Talk about brother complex!

Chihaya is re-bonding with Ritsu though I think it's more the kids bonding with them than the brother bonding with each other.

The kids cling to Ritsu's legs giggling and saying how pretty he is. Don't run Ritsu. Don't run. Soon we'll get to the rides and the kids and their guardians will be out of your and Kou's hair. I just need to devise some sort of plan…oh? Hello opportunity~

"Let's ride that one!" One of the boys shout pointing to one of those roller-coaster that spins you around until you vomit your breakfast from yesterday if that even makes sense.

"No that one!" the other points the other way to a boat in a dark tunnel ride. Wow. Is it wrong that I'm assuming what kind of people these two will grow up as?

Nah!

That just means more yaoi couples yes!

The plan all comes together as we watch the children fight. If only they're fight to the death. It'd be more amusing seeing which one would win.

"That one!"

"No this one!"

"You always get to pick!"

"So? Suck it up you baby!"

"I'm not a baby!"

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"I got it!" I shut them both up before I myself goes beyond crazy. "Chihaya and Kagetsuya will take one to that vomit I MEAN spinning ride" pointing "And Kou chan and Ritsu will take the other to that boat ga—tunnel ride." I point towards the other ride.

Hell no is written on all theirs faces except Kou chan's but my face keeps them in place and from rejecting the idea. We split up into two groups; Kagetsuya, Chihaya, one of their kids, and Fuji for the first group; Then Kou chan, Ritsu, the other kid, and me in the second group.

Good luck Kou chan!

* * *

I really should remember to get on my knees and thank Cel for this opportunity and dragging Ritsu along here with me. I mean it could have been better without Kagetsuya glaring holes in me when I grabbed Ritsu's hand.

I have the feeling he hates me...oh well!

As long as Ritsu's here with me let people hate all they want because i'm so happy right now I'm praying this isn't a dream where I wake up and find out this never happened and go a depressed. NEVER WANT A DREAM LIKE THAT.

"Shall we?" I laugh taking hold of Ritsu's blushing hand and the small child's hand as well.

"Yeah!" The kids, Derick I believe, looks up at me with such big eyes I can't help but smile seeing the happiness illuminating from the kid.

Cel follows close behind and I know she's grinning at the scene. Me and Ritsu going on a ride with a kid. Like a family in a way if I think about it and boy do I think about it. It's so sweet!

"Oh no, I'm fine. You guys can go on the ride by yourselves." Too modest my angel.

I pull him on the boat with us and whisper in his ear "Don't be so stern my angel. Enjoy this day and have fun!" The blush is instant on his vanilla cheeks as he pushes me away calling me stupid but sits by me and the kid never the less.

He's so sweet~

"D-don't think I will enjoy myself." he mumbles trying to stay in control.

"Yes love~"

"Stop that!"

"Yes~" never.

The ride starts and wow does it NOT appear what it first seemed. The ride is friggin crazy! We start out going down the stream all slow and calm but then the water picks up and splashes and then it turns out to be a whole roller coaster ride! We go up and down, sideways, backwards, all the way to a waterfall ending.

When it's all over the four of us come off soaking wet but laughing like maniacs.

My insides melt hearing my love's laugh so sweet and carefree. Like there's no worry or anger~Such a ear pleasing sound.

Draping an arm around his slightly shivering form I tease "And who said don't expect them to enjoy themselves?" My chuckle grows when he looks away and mutters "Damn you." but leans into me anyways.

"Damn me? Well then~bless you." That gets him cracking.

"Goof." Only for you.

"Lets go on another ride!" Derick pulls us to the other one he wants.

* * *

This day turns out a blast.  
We went on a bunch of rides consisting on making us vomit from screaming so much but also laugh just as hard as well.

Yukina is so good with kids then again he's like a kid.

I felt like a kid myself.  
We even played some games and won prizes!

Well Yukina and the kid won prizes. I sucked but Yukina gave me a toy plushy Bunny he won. The bunny is so cute! It has wings and is holding a wand like a fairy with a red bow around its neck smiling. The eyes are black but still cute.

If this is what happiness or content feels like then I pray to god I never lose it.  
I never want to lose this smile, my smile, ever again.

"Ritsu!" I don't fight when Yukina grabs me from behind.

"What?" My smile doesn't slip.

"Look!" He points to a podium with a microphone on and some band playing music. "It's a contest. The one to sing the best wins a prize."

OH NO NO NO!

"So?" Please don't go where I think you're going with this!

"You should participate!"

"NO" it's automatic.

But like always he persist "You have a heart stopping voice Ritsu. Do it! Please for me?"

Just as my mouth moves to retort the band starts up and a familiar, bone chilling, voice flows around the entire park. My eyes move to the stage. They see shoes but can't bring themselves to look up at the owner of those shoes as the voice, deep and sinisterly calm, beckons me.

** _How it all began _**  
**_ If truth be told_**  
**_ Had a master plan _**  
**_ Now I rule the world_**

**_ Took 'em by surprise_**  
**_ Worked my way up hill_**  
**_ They looked into my eyes_**  
**_ I became invincible_**

_**No one can stop me for only I am in control **_  
**_ If you want me you'd better contact my people_ **

He looks at me, burning me with his mud eyes contorted with anger. I can see his disgusting toothy grin from all the way over here. Feel his poisoning hands gripping my body bruising me from inside out.

He's come to get.

_**In my crown, I am king **_  
_** I love their endless worshiping **_  
_** I am raw, a dinosaur **_  
_** But I will never be extinct**_

_** So don't mess with me**_  
_** I'll shoot you down **_  
_** Don't mess with me **_

He's going to kill me. He found me and he's going to kill me.

I have to get out of here. Leave.

_** Show me sex appeal**_  
_** Get on your hands and knees **_  
_** Forget about the meal**_  
_** It's best to keep me pleased **_  
_** Imagine, if you will **_  
_** our meet on the block **_  
_** I've got time to kill so how about a quick fuck? **_

_** I've cum it's been fun but won't you please disappear **_  
_** Something tells me you can't further my career **_

_** In my crown, I am king **_  
_** I love their endless worshiping **_  
_** I am raw, a dinosaur **_  
_** But I will never be extinct**_

_** So don't mess with me**_  
_** I'll shoot you down **_  
_** Don't mess with me**_

People are clapping, cheering for him as he sensually sways his hips then kisses a random girl in the audience. But not once does he remove his eyes from me or the way Yukina is holding me.

"He's good" Yukina can't see the blood lust in Takano's eyes. "But not as good as you~" He kisses my cheek and I flinch fearfully inward as Takano's grip on the microphone tightens and his eyes twitches.

He sings the next verse.

_** 'Cause all your heads are gonna roll**_  
_** I've made your misery my goal**_  
_** So if you want survival**_  
_** Kneel on my arrival**_  
_** for this is how I rule the world**_

_** No one can stop me**_  
_** For only I am in control**_  
_** And if you want me**_  
_** You better contact my people**_

_** See my crown, I am king**_  
_** You'll love the endless worshiping**_  
_** I am raw, a dinosaur**_  
_** But I will never be extinct**_

_** So don't mess with me**_  
_** I'll shoot you down**_  
_** Don't mess with me**_  
_** I'll knock you down**_  
_** Don't mess with me**_  
_** I'll shoot you down**_  
_** Don't mess with me**_

LEAVE.

"Lets go Yukina, Derick." I pull them both the other way "Lets go find the rest of the gang. I'm pretty tired and want to go home."

"I don't want to go home!" Derick whines.

"Um...well it's pretty late and who knows? Maybe if you guardians allow it I'll get you some ice cream!" Just please agree with me kid. I'm dying here!

"OK!" Thank god!

I urge them all to go faster so we can get the hell away fast.

* * *

**Hello~**

**The name of the song is called _DON'T MESS WITH ME _by Temposhark:D**

**And OH HOHOHO!**

**Any guess how this will go down?**

**Any ideas how this will end because I'm not even sure myself O.O  
**

**Will any of you hate me if I killed of a character?**

**Til next time~**


	22. The devil went down to Kyoto

**I am SO sorry for mixing things up in the last chapter!  
I fixed it so hopefully all is good now!**

**This chapter is ALL Takano's pov.**

**Enjoy his pov because it will be in **_italics_

**Also if you have a problem with Idk random rape and torture you may want to skip the beginning of this chapter….*looks away* Takano's crazy don't judge me. then again maybe you don't since you went this far in the story and if you read my other stories then yeah. **

**NO SEKAI ICHI HATSUKOI CHARACTERS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY…MUCH.**

* * *

_The world needs sadistic people like me. If there were none of us you would never be happy because you would know no sadness._

–Patrick Burn

* * *

_Screams rises from my prey but no one can hear him. No one will come for him in this little shack isolated by the city's edge. The perfect place fit for some pleasure._

_My pleasure._

_I tighten the ropes keeping my small prey in place; widen his legs far beyond their capability so I can go in deep inside of that small body. _

_My manhood grows bigger as I listen to the screams and struggle of my victim. I imagine him to be my sweet Ritsu underneath me begging and screaming until his lungs bleed. _

_I moan and grunt as I thrust in and out without mercy. _

_"Sto—ah—p! Wh—why Ta-kan-no saah!" _

_Ritsu doesn't ask why.  
He only screams._

_So scream!_

_To make him I take the knife I've brought along with me and artistically draw a line in that baby face I've always found so ugly._

_"AHHHHHHHHH!" _

_"Good. You r scream is better than your looks." I smirk "Now let's make you pretty with as much cuts as we can Shouta~" _

_I cut his body as he screams anguish while I draw designs and writing on his slim body. When I'm done and cum in his slutty hole, I remove myself and stab him in the side deeply making damn sure I puncture a kidney or any other important organ._

_Then I shank the blade up his hole and watch fascinated as the blood drips down his thighs like small streams down a waterfall. Red rivers._

_"Thanks for everything doll" I wink pulling on my pants then left him in the shack to bleed to death. I've got what I wanted plus a bonus now all that's left is to continue my mission. _

_At the train station I go up to the ticket booth where some woman who has too much makeup on squeals seeing me. "And how may I help you?" she winks suggestively. _

_Sorry bitch I already had my fill today._

_"One ticket to Kyoto please."_

* * *

_It takes a day but I'm patient enough.  
By tomorrow I will be where my love is and sooner than I know it he will be by my side forever. _

_Forever.  
Just me and my Ritsu._

_And if anyone took his heart from me—I'll kill them. _

_He belongs to me and only me alone. _

_No sharing  
No taking  
just me_

_**"We are now arriving in Kyoto. I repeat, we are now arriving in Kyoto." **_

_Stepping out the train I look around carefully plotting my next step to retrieve my lover. I hear sniffling close by. _

_The guy where the sniffles are coming from notices me watching him in disgust. All he has to show for such disgrace is a grin and a wipe of the nose on his shoulder. _

_"Sorry man you have to see this. I just miss my Kisa san you know?" _

_So this idiot is Kisa's lover. _

_I smirk.  
Well~ isn't he in for a great surprise._

_Time to play dumb. _

_"I'm sorry. Kisa san?" I make a confused face killing him inside my head. _

_"Oh! That's my lover" he dreamy grins "He came over here for the weekend but went back yesterday. I miss him already." _

_Hmm… "Ok then." _

_Damn I can't ask anything without looking suspicious. "My name's Takano Masamune. It's a pleasure to meet you—"_

_"Fujiwara Yukina Mister Takano." The man laughs. _

_We talk for some time.  
I make sure to become 'best buddies' with the freak and soon enough he exchange numbers with me before parting ways._

_I was going to throw the revolting number away but forgot it when some nice piece of meat came my way. _

_It's a good thing I forgot to throw the number because later that day the freak called me. _

_"Takano here!" I snap not looking at the number._

_"Whoa! Bite my head off eh?"_

_"Sorry" I force my voice calm "What's up?"_

_His laughs fill the small device "Just wanted to know if you wanted to come to the amusement park with me and some friends." There's a noise in the background and I hear him call "Awe~ Don't be like that Ritsu! It'll be fun!" then he goes back talking to me "So?"_

_"Tell me where." So I can get what's mine. _

_This place is so damn crowded!  
How can anyone enjoy these damn places._

_I came here later because I got a little lost. Looking around I come to some stage with a sign that says "contest; can you be the best singer?" _

_Snorting I go up on stage and grab the microphone. Maybe the height will make looking easier. Once on the damn thing I am proven correct. _

_Right there in the crowd is my lost angel. By him is someone ready to die as he wraps what is MINE in his arms. _

_I meet Ritsu's eyes and smirk when the color drains from his face and fear seeps in his heart. I've missed that look, I've missed him. _

_He betrayed me.  
He ran away from me.  
He deserves to die for that._

_As I sing to him in make it kill he's coming back with me and we are never going to part again. Not ever. Not in this life time which will soon end or the next. _

_My smirk grows when I finish and he rushes away with that man and his kid. Now I've found you Ritsu and your new happiness._

_I'm going to skin them alive and away from you Ritsu. _

_Watch them as they bleed and die in front of your eyes. Hear their screams as I torture them. Look on as the lights in their eyes dim to blackness._

_Because soon after them you are going to die as well. _


	23. Warn the angel!

**Another chapter before bed people! Yeah~**

**And sorry this is narrator pov -_-**

**First person pov was being a problem with this chapter so I just did third person pov. **

**Enjoy my crappy pov~**

* * *

_This is so not happening!  
Please tell me yesterday was an awful dream and never happened and Takano is nowhere near Kyoto out for my blood._

_Please god anything but that Takano here! I'd take a semi to the face or some psycho with a bat, anything but that monster!_

Ritsu was freaking out sitting saluted in the room he has been occupying for the past months. He was shaken to the core from seeing his Ex again and knowing what said Ex was doing down in Kyoto.

That coldness that began thawing nicely for the past month came back tenfold. It was eating the brunet alive making him unable to breathe properly. He began shivering from the ice growing over his form. Reaching for the pale blue blanket on the bed it did no good against the blizzard brewing in him.

He didn't want to go out today or next year as long as the devil was out there waiting patiently to tear his new grown wings to bits. He could just feel the claws digging into him evoking blood from its fleshy confinement.

The angel refused everyone who has come to get him to come out of the safety the room provided. He would not leave for nothing or no one.

All he wished was to morph with the blankets and become one with them and they soft texture.

Yukina on the other hand was worried sick for his sweet creature.  
The tall honey hair man didn't know what was wrong with the recovering angel he finally managed to get out of his shell. He was dying to know what scared his love so much that the guy went back to locking himself in the guestroom.

He attempted talking, pleading, heck even trying to force Ritsu out the room to talk to him but none of it worked.

What was wrong with Ritsu?

Of course he had no idea about Takano san being in town and out for Ritsu.

Sitting at the marble table in his and his brother's home, Yukina sipped tea sadly. The phone above the counter hooked to the wall shrilled to life and the blond watched as his older brother picked the device up.

"Mushi mushi?" Came the older Yukina's cheery voice. Then it went hysteric "What?! E-excuse me? How—wha—is he ok!? Which Hospital please? I'm on my way, I'll be there by tomorrow tops."

"Who was that?" The younger or the two asked worried for what got his brother so riled up.

"It's Kisa!" Fuji cried "H-h-he be-been hurt! I'll be back. I'm going to Tokyo to see what ha-happened. Understand? Watch the place."

Grabbing his coat and wallet Fuji left on his way to his lover unaware of what he'll find and dense to the crazed eyes watching him from afar.

The eyes, like cats, gleamed with enjoyment at the game he started but oh was he far from finished with the game. He still had opponents to eliminate and his prize was still far from achieving but it wouldn't be a problem for him.

He had all day for his plans to work out.

From what he and his 'buddy' talked about yesterday he learned of the library Fujiwara owned and how his brother Kou Yukina runs it when the older brother goes out.

Well Fuji was going to be out for the day leaving no one to mend the library except for Kou. How the gods play into his favor.

Smiling at the victory, so close Takano could taste it, he backed into the shadows of trees waiting. Though he didn't have to wait for the next day as the younger Yukina came out the house, locked the door and made his way down a familiar road to the library.

Oh how the gods play into his favor indeed.

Oh maybe not.  
Keeping a good distance so as to not get caught, Takano was completely unaware of the green orbs that spot him from the top window of the Yukina home and begun spazing out.

_It's not a dream!_

_It's not a dream and he's going after Yukina!_

_No! _

_No! no! no! no!_

What was worse than the feeling of losing what you've finally gained? The one who gave Ritsu happiness was soon to meet a cruel fate and be ripped from the green eyed man by the same hands that have tortured him for ten long agonizing years.

Was it the calm feeling or the warmth that the brunet was scared of losing or was it the giant honey man himself that Ritsu didn't want to lose and pushed him into action?

Whatever it was Ritsu only knew he didn't want to lose anything else or the intoxicating warmth he found the last month. He wouldn't be able to handle if he lost everything again.

Running out the house the small man steeled himself for the fight he knew was coming. The storm that would sweep him away soon. He would not lose that warmth. Yukina.

He refused to lost Yukina Kou.

* * *

**SO…PLEASE DON'T KILL ME BECAUSE I KNOW MY NARRATOR POV SUCKS ASS.**

**Also the next chapter MIGHT be the last one. **

**I'm still debating and trying to play the ending out in my head so—yup!**

**As for Kisa~ I'm just going to explain this because I don't feel like explaining it in the next chapter ok.**

**So_ EXTRA!_ **

**ENJOY~ Fuji's pov~**

* * *

Dashing madly as if I was only fire I made my way in the hospital to the receptionist's desk. "Kisa Shouta please!"

I sacred the poor woman I think but didn't have time to apologize for my lover was injured and—the doctor said all the things that happened to him!

He was found naked tired up in an abandoned shack outside the city's edge. His legs were spread and he was bleeding everywhere, mainly the kidney. Designs were carved into his flesh like vices with music notes. There was even evidence of ra-r-rape.

Oh Kisa!

The lady seeing the distress on my face took pity on me, pointing me to the room my poor lover was recovering in.

Gulping and shaking like a leaf I go in and immediately feel vomit come up my tight throat seeing the way my lover's in. He looks like a corpse!

"Ki-Kisa." My voice is shaky the same as me as I go to him and take his small hand in mine. Placing a kiss on his head I notice he's freezing cold.

Don't take him from me god.

"Kisa I'm here baby. I heard what happened and came as soon as I can. Can you hear me?" tears sting my eyes "Who in god's name did this to you?"

"Ta-ka…"

"Kisa!" My eyes widen "Kisa are you awake babe? Can you hear me?"

Dull brown eyes open weakly "I'm awake. I can hear you…Fuji."

"Thank god!" I try hugging him when he suddenly screams.

"Ritchan!"

Hah?!

"Kisa?" he pulls me down so our noses are touching.

"You have to call Kou to warn Ritsu!"

"Warn? Kisa lay down alright. You're hurt. The only thing we should focus on now is finding the bastard that did this to you."

Wheezing Kisa rips the IV drip from his arm causing him to cut himself "Fuck me right now! Takano's the one who did this to me! And now he is after Ritchan! He's going to kill Ritchan!"

Takano?

"As in Takano Masamune?"

"Yes!"

Then it hits me!

Now I know why the name felt so familiar! Kisa's boss!

"THE BASTARD DID THIS TO YOU!"

"Yes idiot!" Kisa gasps "And now he's going after Ritchan Fuji!" After that he faints.

"Help I need a doctor over here!"

I run out the room looking for help while think **shit! **


	24. A Fallen Angel's paradise

**What's up people?**

**So I feel accomplished right now!  
Before the weekend started we were given yesterday (Monday) and today off making it a four day weekend and so I told myself "BITCH FINISH YOUR FALLEN ANGEL STORY!" and TADA~ **

**Hope you enjoy and not kill me \(^3^ )/**

* * *

_"When fate raises it claws like death readily to take what you hold dear, just know the only way to stop fate's cruel game is to kick it in the balls and show it who its daddy is!"_

—**Nekocandy4life**

* * *

You that strange feeling you get when you sense something is wrong but can't explain it? It like an uncomfortable tingle in your stomach that makes you wish you could reach down your own throat and scratch it.

Foreboding

I wish I could have been able to foresee ahead of time.  
Then perhaps tonight would have never happened and none of us would have been hurt.

Love is such a cruel person to make us fall for it only to get crushed in the end.

I was doing what I always do when mending my brother's library, stacking books or sitting behind the desk waiting for people. It was a strange day.

Not many people were here like usual and then day gave way to night. The moon was out like a diamond glistening so brightly that it looked like a sun itself.

I always liked looking at the moon when it was full.  
Something about its light always gave this place an ethereal glow and made it look as if it belonged in a fairy tale. My new favorite thing about the full moon is when I can watch Ritsu sleep as its light shines down on him through the window.

He really is an angelic person.

Stacking the books I didn't hear as my cell phone went off. I left it on vibrate and set it on the desk. I hummed happily thinking of ways to cheer Ritsu up and get him out the room when I went back home.

I was planning on asking him to live with me.  
He already recovered and I was afraid of him leaving Kyoto to go somewhere else so I wanted him to stay and continue living with me and Fuji. I can't imagine him not living with us.

It was almost time for closing up when the jingle of the bells on the door went off signaling a new arrival.

"Sorry we're closing right now." I told them still not ceasing my stacking or bothering to look at the newcomer I was sending away.

He didn't say anything. I knew it was a he by the he stepped across the tiled floor as he made his way over to me. The he spoke. His voice was smoothly husky but with a crazed ring to it. Something wasn't right I knew that when that feeling in my stomach intensified.

"That's too bad."

Ok Something had to give.

And then that's when shit hit the fan big time.

Once the words left his mouth pain exploded through my head on the right side knocking me to the ground. My vision began blurring as a stream of copper smelling sticky syrup streamed down my head and into my eyes.

I heard laughing crazed and sinister.  
I heard words blurred together but spoke of such hatred.  
I then felt more pain.

He was hitting me with something metal on my back and kicking me in the side. What for? I didn't know at the time.

His grubby hands grabbed a fist full of my hair lifting my head to see his face. The face of the man who lost all sense of humanity.

The devil.

He placed something along the lie of my neck. It was long and cold and sharp enough to draw blood at the mere touch.

"See what happens when you leave me Ritsu" he said digging the thing a bit in my sensitive neck. "You're mine to keep by my side and I'll be damn if you become happy after leaving me!"

Suddenly the metal on my neck went away and the man screamed out in sudden shock or maybe it was pain? Maybe both.

Wiping my eyes and getting my jumbled up brain back together to see clearly what was going on I grasped in shock at the duel playing out in front of me.

Ritsu was on the man's back, his teeth deep in the man's shoulder making the man bleed heavily.

The man screamed out like an animal. Reaching behind him, he took Ritsu's neck and swung him forward on the ground hard.

"You little bitch!" he stomped on Ritsu's face "How fucking dare you pull that shit with me! You have any idea how long I was looking for you, how you hurt me by leaving? Do you, you peace of shit?"

He stomped some more until Ritsu pulled his leg and tripped him. He got up and kicked the man in the face then running over to me.

"Run!" he screamed "Go run and get away understand!"

"What no! His face was all bloody and I'm pretty sure his nose was broken with the way blood was gushing out. "We'll go together and get the police—"

"NO!" he stared long and hard before sighing sadly "He won't stop" he said eyeing the man still on the floor but beginning to recover from Ritsu's kicks. "He'll never stop hunting me down until he gets what he wants. Go now Yukina please. I-I can't al-allow him to h-hurt you."

Turning away from to face the now standing monster he tilts his head back slightly to my direction. His fringe covered his bright green eyes and a despite the sure pain going through his body Ritsu smiled. "And another thing Yukina" that smile brightened but was bittersweet at the same time.  
"Thank you for warming my heart."

A howl broke out into the dead of night as the devil charged forward to the angel who braced himself.

* * *

My heart froze as I busted in the library.

Takano was inside and he was ready to slit Yukina's throat with a long machete.

"See what happens when you leave me Ritsu" he said digging the thing a bit in Yukina's sensitive neck. "You're mine to keep by my side and I'll be damn if you become happy after leaving me!"

Pumping with adrenalin I ran with no other thoughts but to save Yukina and jumped on my devil's back biting him in the shoulder where the collar met the neck til he bled.

Secretly I welcomed his blood as he gushed in my mouth. There was always a part of me that wanted him to bleed so it was satisfied to taste the copper liquid a bit. The rest of me couldn't think properly as those hands I grew scared of over ten years grabbed me by my neck and swung me to the ground with enough force to dislocate my arm.

"You little bitch!" he stomped on my face breaking my nose. "How fucking dare you pull that shit with me! You have any idea how long I was looking for you, how you hurt me by leaving? Do you, you peace of shit?"

He stomped some more until I managed to pull his leg unbalancing him and making him trip. As soon as that happened I got up and kicked the man in the face then running over to Yukina to check on him.

"Run!" I screamed "Go run and get away understand!"

"What no!" Yukina's face had blood dripping from his head and his throat was bleeding a bit from the shallow cut he received. "We'll go together and get the police—"

"NO!" staring long and hard before sighing sadly I told him "He won't stop" I kept eyeing the man still on the floor but beginning to recover from my kicks. "He'll never stop hunting me down until he gets what he wants. Go now Yukina please. I-I can't al-allow him to h-hurt you."

My voice cracked thinking about how hurt the blond was already.

Turning away from to face the now standing monster I tilt my head back slightly to his direction. My fringe covered my eyes and a despite the pain going through my body and soul I smiled for Yukina. "And another thing Yukina" the smile widened but now it was bittersweet.  
"Thank you for warming my heart."

If only I'll live to keep that warmth.

A howl broke out into the dead of night as the monster ran towards me. His eyes were unlike the ones I was used to seeing all the time.

They were of a man that lost sight of reality or rationality and only craved for blood. To take and drag to hell.

He picked up the machete in a swoop glaring hell's fire at me but it was Yukina he was aiming for. On the ground I spotted the old bar I used on those thugs that attacked Kisa san before.

Yukina saw it too.

Not wanting Yukina involved in this any longer I beat him to taking hold of the weapon then turned around in seconds as Takano closed in and—

I coughed up blood.  
My fingers felt numb.

There was no pain.  
Only shock.

Pained laughter filled my ears as breathe as rigid as mine brushed over my face. "We're the same Ritsu." He coughed up blood on my face as he leaned into me. "We were both out for each others blood and now look at us." That ugly smile grew no matter how weak it was. _"We are both going to spend eternity in hell together. Just us, you and me, my lovely __**Fallen Angel**__."_

Eternity in hell huh?

Guess you'll finally get what you wanted then Takano but it's a shame I don't plan on following you just yet.

His muddy clouded eyes widen when he feels my surprisingly calm hand firmly push his chest off the metal bar I stabbed him with and away sending him crashing to a pile of heap on the library's floor.

Blood flowed around him encasing him in its warm embrace as the light died from those deep chocolate orbs I use to gaze at in love.

I guess a tinged of grief came over me as I watch the soul leave his body letting its shell remain here on earth to rot. As for the most part it was relief that brought tears to my eyes.

The adrenalin wore off letting the pain seep in and replace it. The machete was still engulfed in my stomach but I couldn't bring myself to pull it out. Checking on Yukina was more important than myself at the moment.

Said guy looked at me in horror and shock and a lot of fear.

"Ritsu!" he yelled out to me as my legs could no longer carry my weight.

He was crying bringing me in his arms saying a whole bunch of incoherent words that I couldn't understand for my hearing was going out now.

_Kou,_ I said in my head, _thank you for finding me my guild to heaven. _

_Thank you._

* * *

"Ritsu? Ritsu no! Don't die, don't go into that damn majestic light! You're supposed to stay here with me so you can be happy and live the way you want. Don't listen to that bastard—do—please…"

I was beyond hysteria as I held Ritsu. His blood was seeping out of him fast and he was becoming so cold. Too cold.

He isn't supposed to be cold.

He hates being cold I know it.

Tears blurred my vision as I tried my best warming my lithe angel desperate to keep the heat from leaving his body.

I stuff my head in the crook of his neck and bawled begging him to still be alive and just playing with me. It wasn't until a hand was placed on my back that I realized police and an ambulance was waiting outside the library.

Cel and Nowaki were looking down on me with worry and sadness.

"Kou—" Cel began but I cut her off.

"Help him Cel!" I pleaded desperate "Please help him! He's so cold. Wh-why is he so cold? He's not supposed to be this cold! I promised to warm him…I promised but…he-he's not warming up. Oh god—help him. Help him!"

Don't let him die!  
God don't let him leave me!

"W-we will Kou…" they had to pry from fingers away as Nowaki took Ritsu's so small and pale body away from me.

I was angry as they put my love's frame on a cold looking stretcher with no blanket or anything to keep the coldness from freezing him anymore.

Warm him!  
Don't let the coldness take him!  
He needs to be warmed up so he can wake up and get better!

Idiots!

Two policemen held me down refusing to let me follow Ritsu to the hospital. I cried harder frustrated when I couldn't get them off of me.

I wiggled, bit, kicked and struggled enough that Cel had to sedate me knocking me out.

When I awoke I was in the hospital on one of white beds. My brother was sitting beside me on a plastic chair; Cel was standing in the entrance of the door watching me carefully.

"Where's Ritsu?" I asked as the memories came back.

My heart ached so painfully when my brother and Cel frowned dipping their heads down and away from me. They would not answer my question.

Just then Nowaki came in with a clipboard smiling down at me sadly "You were out for a whole week Kou kun. How are you feeling?"

"Where's Ritsu?" I asked again silently daring him to look away from like the others. "I-is he…alive?"

Sighing sadly dropping his smile Nowaki met Cel's lowered eyes. They nodded then came over to the foot of my bed. My brother took my hand squeezing it tightly for unwanted future support on my part.

"We are so sorry Kou." He took a deep breath "O-Onodera san le-left."

Left  
died  
dead

The words played hopscotch in my brain laughing at me with big stupid grins. But I didn't react to the taunts.

Life was suddenly sucked out of me, draining me of emotion. I felt tired. Body, mind, and soul. I just wanted to shut down and never power up again.

Is this what Ritsu meant by his heart freezing over?

Chuckling humorlessly I smile sadly at the memories we shared over the month and one week. The love I came to know from meeting Ritsu. His sweet smile, bitter but shy attitude, his laugh, everything I fell in love with. Him.

Finally the tears come falling down.

_**Love is such a cruel person to make us fall for it only to get crushed in the end.**_

* * *

**A YEAR AND A HALF LATER**

Another spring came by sweeping the land in its sweet smell of flowers and beauty. Wild flowers bloomed magnificently huge along the meadows of lush green grass.

It was a sight to see but for a certain honey blond man it was heart smothering. The view made reminded him of his sweet angel. The smell of wild flowers reminded him of his love's scent.

It also reminded the man of how cruel fate took his love away.

He wasn't the same that day.

The once cheerful college student stopped smiling after learning of his lover's death. He couldn't smile no more or laugh or bring himself to be happy again.

He was now a robot living everyday emotionless, void of happiness but a slave to pain and grief. Thinking on it clearly I guess you could now say the meaning 'happy' was foreign to the blond now.

What was happiness anyways?

And love.

What was love?

He couldn't remember anymore.

Sighing, the man looked on at the view before him. His brother and boyfriend and friends dragged him here to visit his love's brothers a visit and join them for dinner hoping it would console the tall guy.

He didn't want to be consoled though.  
He just wanted the pain in his chest to go away.

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose to keep his head from splitting. From behind a voice spoke softly scaring him.

"Aren't I supposed to be the depressed one or did we do a change reversal _Kou_?"

Whirling around so fast his head spun Kou's jaw dropped at the sight looking back at him smiling and dressed in a white long sleeve with casual dark jeans.

Was his mind tricking him or what was in front of him the real deal?

Ignoring the look he was getting, the small creature looked out to the view of wild flowers. That smile never ending with a blush gracing soft glowing cheeks.

"You know-when I left the hospital and came here this spot became my ultimate favorite. I love how the scenery reminds me of you."

"Ritsu—" The taller of the two called softy afraid of breaking whatever spell was casted on them. "Is that really you? Are you…"

"I'm alive Yukina."

His heart leapt. Familiar warmth began spreading throughout his body and most importantly his heart. That foreign fluttering feeling in the tall blond was once again becoming such a recognizable pal.

He was going to ask how but a hand taking his own cut the words from coming out. "Shall we go to dinner with our families?" that smile grew almost blinding the tall man.

He could do nothing but nod and allow himself to be led away from the meadow.

Back at the orphanage where the other occupants sat in the living room, Fuji spoke up. "You guys think Ritsu went to Kou yet?"

"Positive" Chihaya chirped leaning into Kagetsuya "Knowing him he'd seek out his Paradise far and wide. That's what fallen angels do when locked out of heaven. And I'm glad Kou chan is Ritsu's paradise."

All of them smiled which only grew when the front door opened and two familiar voices called out "We're here!"

* * *

**Did you REALLY think I would kill Ritsu off?**

**Well actually I was planning on it but decided to change it because then Yukina would follow Ritsu to the afterlife and I don't feel like getting threats or flagged because I killed off Yukina. **

**As for Takano~ he died. **

**No questions asked O.O**

**ALSO YEAH!**

**Another story completed which means I can focus on the other stories and complete them as well! Right after I do homework which I've been ignoring for four days now lol!**

**AND ALL OF IT IS DUE TOMORROW! **

**Dear god -_-**

_**Thank you all for reading, reviewing, encouraging, following, and favoring this story.  
It means so much that people like it or just put up with it?  
Once again thanks you and I hope to see  
you are next time for other  
stories! **_

_**Nekocandy4life**_

_**;3 **_


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